If you were to ask me the purpose of life I would tell you equivocally, it is all about relationships. Our lives are meant to be lived within the context of how we relate to others; with our intimate relationships being the ones that potentially bring us the most love and joy. I used the word “potentially” because many intimate relationships are the ones that bring us the most pain and distress as well. When we enter into these relationships, we never think for a moment they will not live up to our expectations. When they don’t meet our expectations, we are sorely disappointed, and really really angry!
The mistake many of us make when it comes to how we relate to others, especially our partners, is we often forget the most important relationship of them all. No, it is not our relationship with our significant other, it is our relationship with our self!
Our relationship with our self is the foundation upon which all other relationships are built. Our partner will be capable of loving us only to the extent with which we love our self. If you do not love yourself and accept yourself for who you are, how can you possibly expect anyone else to? Seriously, if you believe you are “damaged goods”, so too will the people around you believe you are “damaged goods”. Who wants to buy damaged goods?
So this begs the question, “Where should you be looking for love?” The answer of course lies within us. We should be looking for love by looking in the mirror at our self.
Read the 6 questions below, and see if your reflection in the mirror reveals the foundation you must have for happiness in your relationship and your life.
- Does your reflection radiate happiness and joy?
- Do you accept yourself for who you are, not worrying about who you think you should be?
- Do you love yourself unconditionally? Are you your own best cheerleader? Or do you beat yourself up with every little perceived flaw and/or limitation?
- Are you filled with gratitude for your life and your special place within the world? Or do you focus on how unfairly life has treated you?
- Do you have an open mindset? Or are you closed to new possibilities and ways of thinking?
- Are you open to change? Or do you cling to the past?
The secret for looking for happiness in your relationship and your life is found by looking at yourself. What you see in your reflection is what the world will validate. Do you love yourself enough so that others, especially your significant other, will be willing to love you the way you want to be loved! Remember, if you are looking for love in all the wrong places, you will never find it. If you are looking for love by looking within yourself, happiness in your relationship and your life will be yours!
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann