There are few things as wonderful as young love! We all remember those butterflies in our stomach when we first met the man (or woman) of our dreams. What happens to those butterflies as time marches on and our young love becomes a little more mature? Where do those butterflies fly off to? For some, old love means cranky, crotchety love –and this does not have to be the case. Below are three truths you wish your mother had told you for keeping your relationship solid, strong and loving so that you can live happily ever after.
- Yes, your partner’s family, and your family, does matter. You’re kidding yourself if you think otherwise. Remember the classic movie “The Godfather”? Early in the movie, while attending his sister’s wedding, Michael Corleon references his Mafia family to his girlfriend Kate and says: “that’s my family Kate, that’s not me”. Fast forward and we all know that Michael became exactly like his family — and his father! This might be an extreme example but you are only kidding yourself if you do not believe your families will impact your lives together. For better or for worse — we marry into each other’s families when we marry each other. You might not like to hear this, but like it or not, it’s true. Even attempts to be different from our families acknowledge their influence on us.
- The belief that “all you need is love” is the biggest bunch of propaganda ever invented. No, love is not all you need if you want to go the distance and live happily ever after. You need plenty of other things – the most important one being the ability to effectively communicate. As time marches on, and the you-know-what -hits the fan, and it will – communication will be the key for keeping your relationship strong and healthy!
The more critical the crisis that arises in your life, or your relationship, the more vital it is for effective communication to take place. The key for effective communication is the ability to choose your words carefully and express your feelings and thoughts with sensitivity. In addition, effective communication requires active listening – that is, the ability to listen to your partner with an open heart and an open mind, without your own hidden agenda!
- Money will solve all our problems. Just the opposite is true. Recent research suggests once a couple reaches a certain income level – their problems do not diminish, but in fact escalate. So the expression: “more money more problems” is proving to be validated by current research. Sure, a certain amount of money can ease some of the stressors of life; however money cannot buy you happiness, mutual respect, empathy, etc. Therefore, it is a mistake to think all your problems in your relationship will be solved if you just had “x” amount of more money. Thinking this way is often a smoke screen for avoiding the real issues in your relationship — whatever those real issues might be!
We all want to believe in happy endings and this week’s relationship advice gave you three untold truths about how to make your relationship a fairy tale ending! Here’s to living happily ever after!!
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann