Modern technology has completely revolutionized the way we communicate with each other. New technology like the Droid allows us to share all sorts of information – around the globe – in real time. Sometimes I feel as if life depicted in all those science-fiction movies and novels has become a reality. The different ways in which we can instantly communication with each other – and our partner – can be awesome and mind boggling. Whether you and your partner prefer to communicate using a Droid, smart phone, Blackberry, iPhone, emails, text messages, tweets, internet alerts, Facebook etc. – we are now able to communicate with our partner in more ways than ever before.
You would think with all these cool ways to instantly get in touch with each other, our communication with our significant other would have tremendously benefited, right? Uh, wait a minute – not so fast! For many couples, modern technology is killing or incredibly straining their relationship. In other words, with all the new and improved methods we can use to communicate – our communication with our partner has actually suffered. This is because all of this cool technology is actually short-circuiting the romance and intimacy of our relationship.
You’re probably wondering to yourself: “How could that be”? Listen carefully. Modern technology has created many ways to transfer and exchange pieces of information. It is safe to say business has reaped oodles of dollars from technology because it has facilitated vast amounts of information being transferred around the world in a nanosecond. Great for business but not necessarily great for your relationship. Why?
Communication is the ultimate determinate upon which the health and quality of your relationship is built. The transferring of information however, is not the same as real communication. By definition, real communication is a two-way process upon which not only information, but thoughts, feelings and beliefs are exchanged and then discussed. Let’s not forget the “discussion” part of communication – which is usually missing when we exchange information via technology. When was the last time you thoroughly discussed a thought or feeling in an IM or text message?
When couples rely mainly on electronic tools to “communicate” with their partner, they lose the opportunity to go beyond superficial thoughts or an exchange of factual information. This results in the erosion of intimacy is your relationship. Intimacy cannot be nourished without the “human element” of discussion added into your communication. In other words, if modern technology has become the primary way you and your partner communicate with each other, you are in danger of short-circuiting the love and intimacy you need to keep your relationship thriving.
Communication between couples increases intimacy when it builds trust within the relationship. Trust building requires a discussion and sharing of thoughts, feelings and beliefs – not just an exchange of information. It requires face-to-face, one-on-one interaction. It is hard to imagine your text message – or any other form of electronic communication building this type of trust.
Don’t make the fatal mistake of relying solely on modern technology to communicate with your partner. Staying emotionally connected with your significant other requires much more than an exchange of information. Connection and intimacy requires a dialogue about your true inner feelings that is built upon emotional trust.
Relying on modern technology alone short-circuits discussion and limits your ability to build trust and increase romance and intimacy in your relationship.
Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,
Dr. Patty Ann