We love our partner and we are committed to our relationship with them. Deep down in our heart and soul we know we truly want to be in love with them forever. In spite of this yearning to be close to the one we love, there are some common mistakes we make – sometimes on a daily basis – that prevents our dream relationship from coming true. Below are three common intimacy mistakes you must stop now to keep the flames alive in your relationship.

  1. Criticizing and Belittling. People do not realize how often they criticize their partner (and people in general) throughout the course of a day. We might criticize the clothes they wear, the type of movies they like to watch or the music they listen to. Or we may criticize their opinions on anything and everything. Whatever it is you are criticizing your partner about – you must stop this now if you want to keep the flames of love alive in your relationship.

    Think about this for a moment. Would you want to spend an extended amount of time with someone who is constantly criticizing you? Of course not! When we constantly criticize our partner, we are, in fact, belittling them. Whether that is your intention or not, belittling your partner is the consequence of criticizing them. So if you are hoping to spend many passionate days and nights with your partner, stop the criticizing and begin accepting them for who they are!

  2. Resentment. Resentment acts like carbon monoxide in your relationship – it is an invisible silent killer that destroys all those who come in contact with it. If you and your partner hurt each other, which is inevitable in any relationship, the ability to forgive one another is paramount if you want to go the distance. The inability to forgive our partner creates resentment in our relationship. Forgiveness is the antidote to resentment and will go a long way to secure romance and intimacy in your relationship.

    Unchecked resentment builds up and acts like an emotional wedge that comes between our self and our partner. Be willing to give to your partner what you will ask for someday – forgiveness. Sooner or later you will seek it from your partner too! And remember, you cannot ask from your partner that which you are not willing to give to them!
  3. Unappreciated. It would be impossible for me to count the number of times I have heard people complain they feel unappreciated by their partner. As we become more comfortable with our partner, we sometimes forget to acknowledge the things they do for us.  Couples who are able to increase their sense of intimacy and commitment to each other know that it is important to show your appreciation to your partner for the love they give to you and the things they do for you.

Appreciation can be shown in small every day acts of kindness. For example, bringing your partner a cup of coffee in the morning, or their favorite newspaper to read in bed are two very simple, but effective ways to show your partner how much you appreciate them. Remember, actions speak louder than words – so don’t forget to show your appreciation in your deeds as well as your words!

This article has provided you with three common mistakes you might be making that are preventing you from achieving the love and intimacy you crave in your relationship. Think about the ways you may, unwittingly, be criticizing your partner and stop it immediately! Building up resentment because you refuse to forgive your partner for past slights takes up more energy than it deserves – and zaps the romance out of your relationship. Neither you nor your partner is perfect so give it up already and let it go. Life is too short to hold onto past hurts. Finally, remember to show appreciation to your partner for the love and joy they bring to your life.

It you avoid these three common mistakes you are guaranteed to keep the flames of love burning brightly for years to come!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog

Categories : Sex and Intimacy

Comments

  1. I’ve seen so many examples of these 3 points Dr. Patty Ann! I hope people listen to you
    Lynn

  2. Dr. Patty, I’ve been guilty of these at times. Thanks for the reminder to treat our loved ones with encouragement and TLC!

    • Hi Yvonne,

      We have all been guilty of these mistakes at times – we are all only human and trying to do the best we can. The key is not to make mistakes but to learn from them!

      Dr. Patty Ann

  3. Dr Patty Ann,

    I love what you said about forgiveness…that it’s a give and take, b/c ultimately you’ll be looking for it one day. We aren’t perfect, as much as we’d like to be! 🙂

    – Carmen

  4. Thanks again Dr. Patty Ann, for reminding us of the important things in life. These are very simple steps we can do to improve our relationships. In fact, my husband brings me coffee every morning. He’s a sweetie.

  5. Grace Heer says:

    Yep… three mistakes that I’ve made, and been victim of. Thanks for the reminder to pay attention, be loving instead of critical.

  6. Sue Painter says:

    Sometimes it’s good to be reminded of the “basic laws” of relationships. Thanks!

    Sue Painter

  7. Hi Sue,

    Thanks for your comments! and let’s keep it simple!

    Dr. Patty Ann

  8. I think its okay to criticize as long as you follow it up with a complement. you have to be honest to your partner about things, but you have to do it in a way that will not put a boundary.

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