Archive for Commitment

This week I decided to do something totally different by sharing an article written by Richard Branson, the consummate entrepreneur and business man. Every business person would do well to take this wise and fun-loving person’s advice.

 

Best Advice: No Regrets, and Practicing What You Preach

By Richard Branson

The best advice I ever received? Simple: Have no regrets. Who gave me the advice? Mum’s the word.

If you asked every person in the world who gave them their best advice, it is a safe bet that most would say it was their mother. I am no exception. My mother has taught me many valuable lessons that have helped shape my life. But having no regrets stands out above all others, because it has informed every aspect of my life and every business decision we have ever made.

It is one thing to dish out advice; it is another to lead by example and show exactly what you mean through your actions. My mum has always had a keen entrepreneurial streak herself, and still does today. When I was a child, she inspired me to take risks in all manner of business ventures. Most of them didn’t work out (notably growing Christmas trees and breeding budgerigars!) but the lessons learned were invaluable.

The amount of time people spend looking back on failed projects has always astounded me. If we were to add up all of the hours spent regretting mistakes and use that time to develop new ideas, who knows how many brilliant new businesses would be created. Even now my mother starts more new projects in a week than most people do in a year.

She explained how to think of setbacks as part of a learning curve. Sometimes it will be steep, but if you concentrate on looking forward rather than back, the climb will be easier. My mother was able to ingrain that advice in me – not just through words, but through actions. [article posted here: http://bit.ly/Richard_Branson_article]

 

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Categories : Commitment
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What does a job description have to do with being happily married? The answer to this question in one word is: everything! This week’s article takes an excerpt from my new book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!” where I provide a proven system for reconciling your work and family responsibilities. One aspect of this proven system discusses how to create a job description for both your marriage and your entrepreneurial business that ensures success in both your business and your marriage. Entrepreneurs and corporations use job descriptions to clarify employee expectations. Job descriptions get outdated quickly, encompass many unexpected tasks under “other duties as assigned”, or prevent a willing employee from exceeding the basic requirements. Nonetheless, they provide good general outlines so that all parties understand what is expected from each other.

When we marry or make a lifetime commitment, we implicitly agree to a loose job description called “husband” or “wife”, or the equivalent thereof. If we are in business together as well, then we agree to “business partner or associate”. The job description you imagine you have may differ from the one your partner expects of you. Therefore, it is imperative that you write a clear job description for both your marriage AND your business to significantly reduce both domestic and office tensions by forming a shared understanding of your roles and responsibilities at home and at work. To avoid and/or minimize conflict at both work and at home, follow the suggestions below for creating a well-written, carefully-orchestrated job description of roles and responsibilities for each spouse.

If you work or plan to work together, write a job title and description for each of you that clearly defines intended job responsibilities. Your title might be more traditional (head of operations) or innovative (office mover-and-shaker or wife-in-chief). You might divide responsibilities by functions, expertise, working shifts, products/services, client needs, or site of activity, in or outside the office. If your business has identical or interchangeable roles for each of you, then write one job description and add details where relevant.

If you are in the process of deciding whether to partner in business with your spouse or life partner, create a help wanted advertisement and a job description of the ideal business partner. The written word acts as a much more powerful tool than a mere thought or idea. A written job description will help you decide objectively how your partner’s skills and experience measure up to what you are looking for.

If you live together, create a job summary that clearly defines your separate duties at home.

You can detail your own job description as much or as little as you please, but plan to review and revise it at least once or twice a year, or with the addition of children, pets, or any circumstance(s) which require physical and emotional care or time and effort on your part or your spouse’s. If appropriate, create a job description for your kids, nanny, virtual assistants, or any other person who shares the requisite tasks for running a profitable business and an efficient household. You’ll quickly discover that events like the birth of a child, relocation, or a financial setback all affect your roles at home and office dramatically.

Remember, as I state in my book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run!”, creating a job description does not guarantee that your marriage and your business will not hit stormy seas, but it will insure that you have a compass in hand to help navigate you out of the storm, intact and on course!

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Comments (1)

The kids are back in school and for many entrepreneurial moms this means back to business – big time! The excitement which surrounds the new school year for kids can also permeate your business. For many working moms, back to school provides a reprieve from having the kids around all day long while trying to get work done. And if you do not have kids, the fall is a great time of year to rev it up a gear. Below are some tips on how to increase your profits during the school year, without compromising your relationship with your spouse and kids.

  1. Maximize the time the kids are in school for growing your business by scheduling client calls and meetings during school hours – if at all possible. This might not always be possible, but offer up school hours first when scheduling with others. (By the way, your clients do not have to know you are unavailable during certain hours because you are wearing your mommy hat – just say you have previous commitments during the hours you want to spend with your children.)
  2. Create clear role boundaries. Do not try to be a business woman and mom simultaneously. This is a prescription for disaster. When you are at work – focus and concentrate on your work. If you work from home, designate a specific work area that is off-limits to your kids (and spouse for that matter). They wouldn’t be walking in on you while you are working if you worked outside your home – so make it clear they are not to walk in on you just because are working from home. You are still working. In addition, the time you have scheduled to spend with your kids – spend with your kids. Be totally present with them. Turn off your iPhone, BlackBerry, etc – believe me, the world will not stop spinning on its axis because we are not available 24/7, although we often think that it will. Trying to work and parent at the same time often leaves professional moms feeling inadequate in both roles, so please avoid this at all costs. It is not fair to do this to anyone – especially yourself.
  3. Communicate a clear consistent work schedule– and stick to it. Clearly communicate your work hours to your spouse and children; and be firm on the fact that you do not expect to be interrupted during these specific work hours, whether they take place during the daytime or evening, or both. Be disciplined when at work and do not allow yourself to be distracted with other responsibilities, especially extraneous emails. Emails have a way of zapping hours of productivity out of our work day. Avoid opening emails during work hours that are not essential to your work. You will be amazed at how much more work you will get done.
  4. Schedule private time for yourself and your relationship. Once the school year gets into gear, it is so easy to go from work responsibilities to parenting responsibilities and back to work responsibilities again, for days on end– without ever taking any time out for ourselves and our intimate relationship. This will produce burnout in all areas of your life. Be kind to yourself and your partner by prioritizing your relationship – and this might require literally scheduling personal time and date nights into your calendar. Please do so – you, and your relationship deserve it.

John Maxwell discusses how people who are happy and successful at home find that happiness and success in other areas of their life come easy. The foundation for our ability to take care of others begins with our ability to take care of ourselves – and our most important relationships.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Categories : Commitment
Comments (1)

Sometimes it feels as if getting our partner’s support for our entrepreneurial efforts is more challenging than it is to actually run our business. If you feel your partner is less than thrilled about your business or worse yet, he sabotages your success (even if he is not aware of it); both your relationship and your business will have a really difficult time reaching its full emotional and financial potential. Having worked with so many entrepreneurial women over the years I have discovered the absolute #1 secret you must have in your relationship if you want your partner’s support for your business – and I am about to reveal it now.

The #1 secret you must have if you are in a romantic relationship for your business to thrive is your relationship must be a partnership and not a competition. You and your partner must be on the same team – or your relationship will be blocking your businesss’ road to success.

So how do you know if your relationship is considered to be a partnership that effortlessly allows your business to thrive or a competition that may be getting in the way of your entrepreneurial success?

  1. Partners in business support each other’s efforts to achieve their goals. It is clear they are on the same team – even if they do not always see eye to eye on every business decision made. Marriages should work the same way – you support and cheer each one’s individual goals and efforts. Any marriages where spouses do not support each other’s vision for success are not on the same team and therefore their relationship is not a healthy partnership. These relationships often resemble more of a competition than a partnership – they zap you of positive energy that would be much better spent pursuing your entrepreneurial goals.
  1. In a true partnership, a win for you is a win for your partner. If your relationship operates more like a competition than a partnership, a win for you is a loss for your partner – and a loss for you is a win for your partner. This will surely sabotage your business success if you feel your business can only thrive at the expense of a healthy relationship or vice versa.
  1. You feel your partner’s support for your business even if they don’t understand what it is you actually “do”. Let’s be honest, most of us don’t really know what it is our spouses “do” for work but that doesn’t stop us from supporting their efforts for success. We inherently understand our partner’s career success is a win for both of us. Our partner feels good about what they have achieved and we are proud of their success. We also benefit from any financial reward they achieved. We should expect nothing less from our partner for their unconditional support for our entrepreneurial business.

Having a relationship that works as a partnership will catapult your success in so many ways – both tangible and intangible! With your spouse on your team – you are able to spend your time and energy growing your business – and not worry about how your business might be negatively impacting your relationship. As I mentioned earlier – a great player wins games but a team wins championships! Make sure you and your partner are on the same team and your business will grow to dazzling heights!

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

Comments (4)

We have all been here – feeling as if we have to choose between our business and our marriage. It feels as if there are just not enough hours in the day or days in the week to get everything done that needs to get done in our business AND have time for our husband and kids. So what many of us do is “steal” time away from our marriages and/or family to work on our business. I use the word “steal” because that is, in fact, what we are doing when we spend time working on our business that really should be spent enjoying our spouses and our family.

Does this sound familiar? We tell our partner we need a few more minutes to finish up a project or to return an e-mail or make just one more phone call. The next thing you know, these few more minutes have turned into a couple of hours and we have spent very little time with our partner. What happens is a quiet resentment starts to build in our partner toward our business — often spreading into our relationship; not to even mention the guilt we feel over not spending enough time with the kids.

Following are 3 secrets for keeping your relationship strong as you run — and grow – your business.

  1. Create Clear Boundaries of Time. Entrepreneurs are notorious for working way too many hours. Because we are passionate about our work — time spent working on our business really seems to fly for us. To avoid losing track of time and falling prey to working morning, noon and night, create a clear time schedule for your work hours and work only during those hours. Otherwise, you could easily fall into the trap of working all the time. I have worked with women whose marriages have been severely damaged because they failed to set clear time boundaries for their work; or they set up a time schedule but ignored it.
  2. Create Clear Boundaries of Space. If you are an entrepreneurial woman who works from home, it is imperative that you create a separate office within your home. Do not allow your bedroom, kitchen or family room to masquerade as your work space. Remember, your office is supposed to be a work space within your home. When your office takes over your home, it sends a message to your partner that your work has taken over your life. Your partner wants to be married to you — not your business.
  3. Prioritize your relationship. Many women seem to believe that romance with their husbands’ should be spontaneous — otherwise it doesn’t count. Many people are under the false impression that scheduling special time with your partner disqualifies it from being special. Nothing could be further from the truth. Entrepreneurial women must prioritize their marriages so their husband’s know they do not put their business before their relationship. As a relationship expert, I hear many entrepreneurs tell me their husband’s feel as if they are always last on their list — and that everything else seems to come before them — especially their business. This is a major red flag for the health and intimacy of your marriage. To avoid this complaint — prioritize your relationship by putting date nights and days on the calendar. Just as you would prioritize an important business call or meeting, prioritize your relationship by literally scheduling it on your calendar.
One of the joys of entrepreneurship is loving the work that we do — and if you follow the 3 secrets above, you will not have to choose between your business and your marriage. You will have both!!

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

Comments (1)

Everyone loves their children and wants the very best for them. And why shouldn’t we? Children are our legacy and the future of the world lies in their hands. Having said that, many couples have fallen into the trap of thinking their world, and their relationship, has to constantly revolve around their children. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In fact, we do our children a huge disservice by allowing them to ruin, oops I mean run, our lives. Why? Because when they grow up, I can guarantee you their significant other won’t think the world revolves around them – so they might as well get use to it now. This way it doesn’t become such a shock to them when they go into the real world!

Some couples haven’t been alone with each other since the day their first child was born (including sleeping at night). Others haven’t taken a vacation without their children in tow. And some wouldn’t dream about going out to dinner without the little darlings. We have become a kid-obsessed society – and it is killing many of their parents’ relationship in the process.

It is imperative that you take back your relationship from your kids before it kills your relationship with your spouse. Below are four tips that will show you how to do just that!

1. Maintain your identity and your sense of self after the children arrive (or what I refer to as our B.C. life; i.e. life before children). Do not lose your sense of self and who you were prior to becoming a parent. You are still a woman, professional, artist, etc. Parenting should be viewed as adding another dimension to who we are as we evolve and grow; it is not meant to eclipse everything else we were prior to becoming parents.

2. Keep up with some of your hobbies and/or interests that you enjoyed before you had the kids. Of course you can’t continue to do everything you use to do before you became a parent, but you can certainly continue to participate in some activities that you use to enjoy. This will help you stay connected to the pre-mommy person you were (and the one your partner fell in love with).

It is a mistake to make parenting an all-consuming, all-obsessed thing that totally and solely defines who you are. Your partner fell in love with you before you ever had children. And while they probably love the parent you have become, they don’t want to make love to their children’s “mother” – they want to make love to their “wife”!

3. Prioritize your relationship. It is really important to prioritize your relationship by creating (and scheduling if need be) quality time alone with your partner, especially once you begin to raise a family. This will help you re-connect with your partner as a spouse and not just as a parent. Mommy and daddy must not lose perspective of the value of their relationship as husband and wife!

4. Your post-pregnancy wardrobe should not consist of merely sweatpants and T-shirts. There is no such thing as a “mommy uniform”. Stay stylish and trendy even if you gained a few pounds over the course of the years. So what? Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to dress as a “mommy”. Stay chic in the way that is true to who you are. It is okay to have a few “mommy outfits” for running around with the kids, but Saturday night calls for those sexy clothes you shoved in the back of your closet once the kids were born. Find them and start wearing them again, or better yet, buy new ones!

We send our children a healthy message when they see us take care of ourselves and when they see us take care of our relationship! The incredible new realities and responsibilities of parenting are made easier when we maintain a sense of who we are as an individual and who we are as a couple!

Our children will learn best how to love someone, when they grow up in a home where they watch their parents love themselves and each other. After all, aren’t we raising our kids to grow up and be able to enjoy healthy, happy relationships? Their ability to do this starts at home, with you, and how you and your partner relate to each other! As we all know, the kids don’t miss a trick!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog

Categories : Commitment
Comments (1)

Do you remember the childhood story of “The Three Little Pigs”? To summarize this fairytale, one little pig built his house made out of straw, another little pig built his house made out of sticks, and the third little pig built his house out of brick. The third little pig had to labor much longer than his friends to build his house. When the big bad wolf came to blow down the house these three little pigs built, the only house that withstood the force of the wolf’s attack was the house made out of brick. The house that took the longest to build was the sturdiest, and with each powerful force of the wolf’s attack, the stability and strength of the brick house was reinforced. The only house and the only pig that survived the wolf’s attack was the third little pig whose house was built with bricks.

So by now you might be asking your self: “And what in the world does this story of “The Three Little Pigs” have to do with my relationship? In fact, it has everything to do with your relationship, and let me tell you why.

Many couples I help are shocked to discover what is lacking in their relationship when I point it out to them. It is the linchpin necessary for a long-term loving relationship. It provides the glue for keeping your relationship strong and stable, two prerequisites absolutely essential if your relationship is to stand the test of time. This linchpin is a real and deep level of commitment. Many relationships begin to crumble when the winds of change blow in their direction because there is a lack of commitment to each other, and the relationship as a whole. Although couples are often unaware of this lack of commitment to each other until it is too late.

Unfortunately, many intimate relationships are not built upon a rock solid commitment made of brick; rather they are made of straws and sticks, susceptible to life’s inherent difficulties. Therefore, when these relationships are tested by the winds of adversity and stressors of life, these relationships collapse; similar to the two little pigs who built their homes from straw and sticks. These homes looked solid and stable – until they were tested!

No matter how beautiful your window treatments may look or how exquisitely you decorate your living room, once a storm hits your house, if the foundation to your house is cracked, it will eventually fall.

So, your relationship will also collapse if it is not built with a solid commitment from you to yourself, your partner and your relationship. With a solid level of commitment however, your relationship will withstand the test of time and you will reap the wonderful benefits of a loving and long-term relationship, built upon a rock solid commitment of love to yourself, your partner and your relationship!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog

Categories : Commitment
Comments (1)

Everyone loves their children and wants the very best for them. And why shouldn’t we? Children are our legacy and the future of the world lies in their hands. Having said that, many couples have fallen into the trap of thinking their world, and their relationship, has to constantly revolve around their children. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In fact, we do our children a huge disservice by allowing them to ruin, oops I mean run, our lives. Why? Because when they grow up, I can guarantee you their significant other won’t think the world revolves around them – so they might as well get use to it now. This way it doesn’t become such a shock to them when they go into the real world!

Some couples haven’t been alone with each other since the day their first child was born (including sleeping at night). Others haven’t taken a vacation without their children in tow. And some wouldn’t dream about going out to dinner without the little darlings. We have become a kid-obsessed society – and it is killing many of their parents’ relationship in the process.

It is imperative that you take back your relationship from your kids before it kills your relationship with your spouse. Below are four tips that will show you how to do just that!

1. Maintain your identity and your sense of self after the children arrive (or what I refer to as our B.C. life; i.e. life before children). Do not lose your sense of self and who you were prior to becoming a parent. You are still a woman, professional, artist, etc. Parenting should be viewed as adding another dimension to who we are as we evolve and grow; it is not meant to eclipse everything else we were prior to becoming parents.

2. Keep up with some of your hobbies and/or interests that you enjoyed before you had the kids. Of course you can’t continue to do everything you use to do before you became a parent, but you can certainly continue to participate in some activities that you use to enjoy. This will help you stay connected to the pre-mommy person you were (and the one your partner fell in love with).

It is a mistake to make parenting an all-consuming, all-obsessed thing that totally and solely defines who you are. Your partner fell in love with you before you ever had children. And while they probably love the parent you have become, they don’t want to make love to their children’s “mother” – they want to make love to their “wife”!

3. Prioritize your relationship. It is really important to prioritize your relationship by creating (and scheduling if need be) quality time alone with your partner, especially once you begin to raise a family. This will help you re-connect with your partner as a spouse and not just as a parent. Mommy and daddy must not lose perspective of the value of their relationship as husband and wife!

4. Your post-pregnancy wardrobe should not consist of merely sweatpants and T-shirts. There is no such thing as a “mommy uniform”. Stay stylish and trendy even if you gained a few pounds over the course of the years. So what? Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to dress as a “mommy”. Stay chic in the way that is true to who you are. It is okay to have a few “mommy outfits” for running around with the kids, but Saturday night calls for those sexy clothes you shoved in the back of your closet once the kids were born. Find them and start wearing them again, or better yet, buy new ones!

We send our children a healthy message when they see us take care of ourselves and when they see us take care of our relationship! The incredible new realities and responsibilities of parenting are made easier when we maintain a sense of who we are as an individual and who we are as a couple!

Our children will learn best how to love someone, when they grow up in a home where they watch their parents love themselves and each other. After all, aren’t we raising our kids to grow up and be able to enjoy healthy, happy relationships? Their ability to do this starts at home, with you, and how you and your partner relate to each other! As we all know, the kids don’t miss a trick!

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog

Categories : Commitment
Comments (0)

The other day my son was telling me about the training he received when learning to parachute from an airplane. He was sharing with me all the physical and emotional training he received when he asked if I knew the absolutely most important aspect about parachute jumping from an airplane. After a few wrong answers my son finally told me:“It’s the person who builds your parachute that matters the most when you jump from the plane”. My son went on to say that no matter how terrific your training is, or your physical conditioning, when you pull that cord on your parachute, if the parachute doesn’t open – all your training is irrelevant and you are as good as dead.

This story got me thinking. Even though you love your partner, do you trust them enough that you would want them to build your life’s parachute? Do you have enough faith in your partner that when the chips are down, and you feel as if your life is in free fall, your partner is the one you believe will catch you before you hit the ground? Or is the trust in your relationship so fragile that you wouldn’t even want your partner to think about having anything to do with building your parachute to stop your free fall?

In other words, if your life depended on it, who would you want to be the one to save you from a crash and burn scenario in life?

If you cannot answer, without hesitation that you want your partner to be the one to make your parachute – or be the one to catch you before you fall – the level of trust you have in your relationship is not where it needs to be.

Below are the three secrets you must know to increase the level of trust in your relationship so you are certain your partner will never let you hit the ground. Remember trust is at the heart of every long-term loving relationship.

1. The very first thing you must do is look at the level of commitment you bring to your relationship. If your partner had the same level of commitment to your relationship that you have, would that be satisfactory in your eyes? If not, take a long hard look in the mirror and evaluate your sense of commitment to your partner – and if need be, work on increasing your own level of commitment in your relationship. This is a fantastic way to increase the amount of trust in your relationship.

2. The next thing you must do to increase trust in your relationship is to make sure your relationship is predicated upon a partnership and not a competition. In other words, are you and your partner on the same team, in it together; or are you constantly competing against each other? Competition creates a winner and a loser. And I don’t know about you, but I never trust the competition. Make sure your relationship is a team effort, i.e., being in it together. Great teams are built upon trust among the players; happy couples must have trust between each other.

3. Finally, are you trustworthy? In other words, are you authentic, predictable and consistent in what you say and in what you do? Remember we cannot expect our partner to give us what we ourselves are not willing to give. So be trustworthy in your action and your words; be consistent, be predictable and be authentic.

You now have the three secrets you need to increase the level of trust in your relationship. Trust is a major building block for long-term happiness and intimacy. If you have enough trust in your relationship, your relationship will be able to weather any storm.

Your partner will be the one you want the most to build your life’s parachute and the only one whom you will want to catch you before you fall.

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog

Categories : Commitment
Comments (3)

When couples are experiencing emotional turmoil and dis-connect (regardless of the reason) I always ask the question: “Tell me how you met and why you fell in love with your partner? Couples then pause and look at me in an extremely quizzical way. Almost as if to say: “Hey, I want to tell you what’s wrong with her/him, not reminisce about the good ole days”. (Thank goodness I have a thick skin because believe me, some of these looks could kill!) Nonetheless, I persevere and what follows are some of the most beautiful stories of romance and love you could possibly imagine. And just when I thought I have heard the absolute best story of how and why a couple fell in love – I hear another story that trumps it and on it goes. These incredible stories of love and romance are truly amazing and full of wonderment and joy.

So what is the value of remembering how you met your partner and why you fell in love with your partner in the first place when the two of you are at a point in your relationship where the very thought of each other sends a shiver of contempt, not lust, down your spine? The answer to this question is really simple so listen up.

Many couples ignore signals that their relationship is going south until it is in a rapid downward spiral – unraveling at the speed of sound. At this point, everything about your relationship and everything about your partner is negative, or at least it appears to be that way. In other words, you have created a negative mindset about your romantic relationship and your partner. So when you think negatively about your partner and your relationship, negativity is, in fact, all you see.

The danger of this negative mindset is the creation of a filter whereby anything positive about your relationship is filtered out; conversely, any and all negative aspects of your relationship come into view with a laser-like focus. Therefore, you really cannot see any positive aspects about your relationship or your partner; it has all been selectively blocked from your mind.

Therefore, my proven relationship tool of having couples remember and then verbally describe to each other memories of their early meetings and dates, and how they fell in love, creates the start of a shift from a negative mindset to a positive one. This shift eventually evolves into a positive mindset which creates positive feelings of warmth and tenderness towards your partner and your relationship; feelings which had been dead and buried for quite a long time. A positive mindset about your relationship allows you to see the positive in both your partner and your relationship. For example you might start to have feeling described in the following sentence: “Maybe he isn’t such a complete jerk after all”. This might sound like a rather small concession towards your partner but remember, a triumphant journey starts with one step at a time.

Next time you find yourself thinking negatively about your partner or your relationship, think back to when you first fell in love and feel the feelings these thoughts create inside your heart. Maybe they haven’t changes as much as you have come to believe they have? Maybe someone else in the relationship has changed more? Just a thought.

Rekindle Romance and Happiness in Your Relationship,

Dr. Patty Ann

www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog

Categories : Commitment
Comments (11)