Archive for Communication

Wouldn’t you agree that great leadership begins with a growth mindset?
Watch this brief video where I share the 3 qualities of a growth mindset that all leaders possess.


#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork

~ as published in The Huffington Post

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
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www.linkedin.com/in/drpattyanntublin
 

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4 Communication Mistakes It’s pretty safe to say everyone agrees that effective communication skills are a vital “soft” skill for success yes?

But many people are totally unaware of every day communication mistakes that go unchecked.

These mistakes not only get in the way of your success – but they also piss people off – damaging important work relationships.

Following are 4 common communication mistakes that piss people off – and how to stop them.

4 Communication Mistakes that Piss People Off

1. Constantly interrupting when others are speaking.

We all know who these people are and they really piss us off.

Interruptions can take many forms. The most common is the question that just can’t wait until we are finished speaking our thought and/or presentation. The interrupter needs to have their question answered now!

People who constantly interrupt others exhibit poor listening skills and are usually not interested in what you are saying.

Interrupters have to say what they need to say the moment a thought or comment or question pops into their head.

No filter.

Quite frankly, they don’t really care to listen to what you have to say – after all, it’s really all about them.

If you want to damage your work relationship – make it a point to interrupt every chance you get. People will surely be pissed off at you.

Solution: Make a conscious effort to pause and breathe deeply before opening your mouth to speak. This takes practice but it is a skill that can be learned.

2. The Space Invader invades our personal space by standing way too close to us during a conversation.

This invasion of our personal space leaves us feeling uncomfortable and a little anxious at times.

Why? Space invaders upset our human desire to avoid “getting so close to other people.” For a more detailed discussion of personal space go to: http://bit.ly/personal-spaces

The appropriate speaking distance between two people, although it varies according to culture and level of intimacy, is between four (4) ft. and twelve (12) ft.

Solution: Simply know what 4-12 ft. looks like and put it into play.

3. Constantly breaking eye contact during a conversation. If you want to send someone the message they do not have your full attention –let your eyes frequently wander away from them while they are speaking.

Glancing at our phone, checking our watch –doing all sorts of other seemingly benign behavior– sends the message that you are distracted.

Or, perhaps even worse, that you have something better to do with your time than listen to them.

Conversely, unrelentingly staring at someone while they are speaking can be intimidating – and downright creepy.

You know the stare – we all do. It can leave us feeling intimidated. And no one likes it one bit.

Solution: Maintain appropriate genuine eye contact throughout the conversation. You do not want to be constantly looking away from the speaker – nor do you want to appear obsessively “locked in”. Either behavior will piss people off.

4. Poor Body Language

Over fifty (50%) of all communication takes place non-verbally. More specifically, our body language screams messages without uttering one word!

Poor posture, fidgeting, flailing arms and anything else that might distract the listener will inhibit your ability to get your message across.

Besides being distracting, it can be annoying and irritating – and yes, you guessed it, piss people off.

If you want to communicate your message with confidence, competence and poise – you must look confident, competent and poised.

Solution: Practice speaking in front of a mirror or video yourself speaking and then watch the video with the volume turned off. This will give you great insight into what message your body language is sending. Or perhaps ask someone you trust to evaluate your body language while speaking.

Practice, practice, and practice some more.

Some people are naturally effective communicators, most of us are not.

Remember – the goal of communication is to connect with others, ditch any behavior that advances this goal.

#communicationexpert #womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

~ as published in The Huffington Post

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Jun
05

TV Interview June 5, 2017

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Dr. Patty Ann interview June 5th on WTNH CT Style. Topic: How to avoid a Tiger Woods meltdown.

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great-communicators-smlDon’t you just love this quote from the comedian George Bernard Shaw: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Ineffective communication is often at the root of failed leadership, disengaged employees, poor customer service and failed marriages.

The inability to connect with others is a symptom of ineffective communication.

John C. Maxwell, an internationally renowned leadership expert wrote a best selling book titled: “Everyone communicates, Few Connect”.

How true that statement is!

“Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” John C Maxwell

The ability to connect is what all great communicators nail down.

And they connect with people on an emotional level.

It is impossible to become a great leader, a great spouse, a great parent and a great friend if you cannot connect with others.

You can’t influence someone if you can’t build a connection with them.

Following are 7 effective strategies that great communicators use to connect with people.

Master these skills and watch your connection and influence with others soar!

1. It’s Not About ME – it’s about YOU (the person or the audience).

Great communicators do not try to impress their audience with their credentials, what they know and how smart they are.

They relate to the audience based upon where the audience is – so they feel understood.

This is true whether it is an audience of one or one million people.

2. Authentic. Great communicators stay true to themselves.

People can smell a phony a mile away! That is why great communicators don’t try to be anyone they are not.

People are drawn to others who radiate authenticity and honesty.

When people are drawn to you – chances are they will be drawn to your message as well.

Authenticity is the glue that binds the connection.

3. Read Body Language Like a Book. Research shows well over 50% of all communication is non-verbal. Therefore, the greatest source of truthful information is revealed in people’s body language.

Body language is constant. Unlike verbal communication, non-verbal communication never stops. It’s always sending signals about how someone thinks and feels.

Great communicators are experts when it comes to reading body language. They can read facial expressions and other non-verbal gestures that reveal how someone really feels and what they really think (which may be at odds with what they say).

Every great communicator knows it is just as important to know what is not being said, as much as it is to know what is being said.

4. Communicate with Authority without being Arrogant. Great communicators speak clearly and directly about how they feel and what they believe.

They do not leave you guessing as to what their message is because they tell it like it is.

Although great communicators are direct, they are not rude or offensive.

5. Active Listening Skills

Great communicators remain totally present while actively listening to others when they speak. They are not distracted by their surroundings or their own thoughts.

They remain totally focused on the speaker and what is being said to them.

The only way to insure your listener knows they are being heard is to actively listen to them.

Reframing is one of the most powerful techniques that are essential to active listening. Simply, you re-frame what someone has just said to you to insure you heard them correctly. For example you might say: “You’re basically saying the team is having a difficult time implementing this strategy, correct?”

6. Every Single Person in the Room Believes You are Talking Directly to Them!

When speaking to a large audience, great communicators develop a level of intimacy with the audience that makes every single person in the room feel as if they are the only person in the room.

This is no easy feat. It requires the ability to be genuine and express the same feelings and energy you would emit when speaking to an individual, as opposed to getting consumed by the anxiety of a large crowd.

If you’ve ever been in a large audience and yet you felt the speaker was talking directly to you – you know how emotional this experience can be – and how lasting that connection becomes!

7. Connect with Feelings not Facts. All great communicators know that you emotionally connect with your audience.

As Maya Angelou said: “People will forget what you said and did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

Enough said!

Every great communicator connects with their audience. Utilizing the above strategies will increase your ability to connect with the people in your professional and personal world.

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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Wouldn’t it boost your career if you could learn to effectively communicate? Watch my video blog where I share 3 simple tips on how to become a more effective communicator.



#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Mar
01

Do You Have the “It” Factor?

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Do you have the "it" factor?Wouldn’t you love to be that guy or gal that everyone wants to be around?

The person who commands a “presence” when they walk into a room.

The person who exhibits magnetism that makes others naturally gravitate towards them.

Everyone wants to be on his or her team.

Everyone wants to work with them – or for them.

Question: So what exactly is “it” that these people possess?

Answer: Executive Presence

What is Executive Presence?

Sylvia Ann Hewlett states that Executive Presence is seen in the way you act, look and sound.

People with executive presence exhibit confidence, competence, poise, effective communication skills and the ability to remain calm in the eye of the storm -all fundamental characteristics of executive presence.

If you don’t look, act and sound like an executive or leader, it will be extremely difficult to be perceived as one or to become one.

Here’s the really good news. Executive Presence can be learned.

3 Key Ingredients Essential to Executive Presence

1. Gravitas – how you act or behave is perhaps the single most important component of Executive Presence.

Read More
#executivepresence #womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

~ as published in The Huffington Post

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

body-language-sml

Wouldn’t it be of tremendous value to know how to read someone’s body language?

Research shows approximately 55% of all communication comes from body language. Can you imagine what an advantage it would be to your career and your personal relationships if you were able to hear what is not being said!

(Guys, this might really come in handy for you one day – just sayn!)

High Emotional Intelligence & Body Language

Not coincidentally, people with high emotional intelligence are well aware of the importance of non-verbal communication. They pay close attention to body language and other non-verbal cues while communicating with others.

Here’s some really good news. Everyone can learn to read body language.

Following are ten secret tools of the trade for reading body language. With a little effort you can implement these tools and gain an incredible advantage (and boost) to your career and personal relationships.

10 Secrets Tools for Reading Body Language

Let’s start with the face.

1. When Someone is Smiling – Watch their Eyes. A true, authentic smile creates a crinkling of the skin around the outside corner of the eyes. This crinkling is commonly referred to as crow’s feet.

If someone’s smile doesn’t produce crow’s feet around their eyes, this suggests their smile may not be genuine. The person smiling may be hiding their true feelings or thoughts from you.

A happy smile is defined by crow’s feet – and you can’t fake it.

Read More

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

~ as published in the Huffington Post

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Navigating life's transitions We all experience a series of transitions throughout our lives, both personally and professionally. Even when transitions are positive, they can be quite stressful.

Graduating from college, getting married (or divorced), having a baby, beginning a new job, entering a new relationship, etc. all create stress.

Since transitions and change are a constant part of life, they are impossible to avoid.

Therefore, the better equipped you are to handle and navigate life’s transitions, the happier and more successful you’ll be!

Following are four easy ways to navigate life’s transitions (so they don’t overwhelm you and stress you out).

1. The famous Greek philosopher Socrates said: “Know Thyself”. Different people can tolerate different levels of stress.

Understand your own limitations. Know how much stress you can tolerate – and respect it. This will help you avoid (or minimize) feeling overwhelmed and unduly stressed out during times of change. Naturally, it will be helpful for you to control what you can realistically control.

We cannot control everything that happens to us in life- but we are able to control some things.

If you are uncomfortable with a lot of major changes happening all at once, do your best to keep these changes to a minimum (when possible).

For example, if you are moving to a new apartment, perhaps you shouldn’t be looking for a new job at the same time.

If you are one of the fortunate few who can emotionally tolerate a lot of changes going on at once – you still need to recognize that transitions are stressful. Don’t be caught off guard and pile on the changes unnecessarily – just because you think you “can”.

2. Reach Out to Your Support System. Whether you are transitioning into a new job, a new intimate relationship or moving to a new city, etc., access your support system.

Reach out to the people who can emotionally support you during times of change. We all know who these people are in our lives.

It is very difficult to handle transitions by yourself – so don’t!

If you begin to feel overwhelmed by a personal or professional change, seek emotional support from others.

Whether it’s your friends and/or family that comes through for you in the clutch, reach out to them. Let them know what change(s) you are going through so they can ease the bumpy emotional roller coaster ride that comes with the territory.

This support can go a long way in helping you move ahead to see light at the end of what might begin to feel like a very long dark tunnel.

3. Be Realistic. Give yourself a realistic timeframe to get used to the change.

Your identity is changing – and it will take time to adjust to the “new” you. So give yourself the time it takes to feel comfortable in your new skin.

It might take a full year to feel comfortable or confident in your new job or relationship. Expecting to adjust sooner than is realistically possible will only add more stress to an already stressful situation.

Therefore, give yourself the gift of knowing it takes time to adjust and feel comfortable when transitioning throughout your life.

4. Expect to feel uncomfortable feelings. Even if you finally got that promotion you so desperately wanted, or you are a blushing bride or groom, don’t be surprised if you begin to feel somewhat overwhelmed and/or sad.

Transitioning implies closing one chapter in your life and opening another.

Even if the change you are experiencing is desirable, it may still take you out of your comfort zone – creating many unexpected and uncomfortable feelings.

Transitions, whether they are warmly welcomed or are suddenly imposed upon us, they present us with new challenges that create stress.

Knowing how much stress you can tolerate, reaching out to your support system, giving yourself a realistic timeframe to adjust to the changes while understanding that you might feel some sadness, are keys that will help you navigate life’s transitions as smoothly as possible.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

As a relationship and communication expert, you know I sincerely believe all success begins with relationships. However, these relationships are only successful if they are authentic.

Authenticity must be at the very core of any trusting relationship. The #1 way to build trusting relationships is through effective communication.

Following are three key components of effective communication.

  1. Recognizing the fact that we live in an electronic world – face-to-face communication remains the most effective type of communication you can have when it comes to building trusting relationships.

    If there is any way possible to meet a client in person– by all means do so. Train, planes and automobiles can get you there.

    These face-to-face meetings might require more of your time (especially if it involves travel) – but its value towards building an honest trusting relationship makes it well worth the effort.

    Let’s be honest. Aren’t you more inclined to trust someone you have met in person, as opposed to only knowing someone through the Internet or telephone communications? Being in someone’s physical presence affords us the opportunity to get a “read on him or her” and size him or her up.

  2. The ability to actively listen is a vital component of effective communication. Actively engaging the speaker when they are talking by nodding your head and looking them in the eye shows the speaker you are fully present and listening carefully.

    Actively listening also provides you with the opportunity to ask for further clarification if you don’t understand something that is being said.

    Active listening makes the speaker feel valued because you are giving them your divided attention.

  3. Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Skills. Choose your words very carefully. Words are powerful. They can build or destroy relationships. Speak clearly and concisely. Avoid rambling on and on or going off on tangents. Nobody has time for nonsense.

    Over fifty percent of all communication takes place non-verbally. Therefore, what is not being said is sometimes more powerful and important to building a trusting relationship than what is being said.

    Make certain your body language (non-verbal communication) is consistent with your words (verbal communication).

If you want to build authentic trusting relationships, take the time to meet people face-to-face, the effort will be appreciated. Utilize active listening skills and be aware of your verbal and non-verbal messaging. Practicing these effective communication skills will build healthy relationships and increase your bottom line.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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As the year comes to a close, many people take stock of their lives and resolve to make positive changes in the New Year.

We all know the usual suspects: lose weight, exercise more, spend more time with the kids, read more, etc.

As a relationship expert I truly believe all success and happiness is built upon healthy relationships. And there is one New Year’s Resolution that will build these relationships!

Resolve to magnetize yourself in the New Year. No – not like a superhero, but the type of person who appears to naturally draw people to themselves.

Magnetic people are easy to be around and just as importantly, they make everyone around them feel at ease – and good about themselves.

Interestingly, magnetic people are not usually the smartest, richest or best-looking people in the room, (whew – qualifying most of us). However they possess qualities where people gravitate towards them anyway.

You want to work with – and for – magnetic people.

You want magnetic people at your parties.

You want magnetic people as your friend.

And so does everybody else!

Why?

Because magnetic people possess and radiate a positive energy that naturally draws people to them.

How?

What’s the secret behind this magnetism?

A simple, yet rare quality: self-confidence (not to be confused with arrogance).

Since magnetic people possess self-confidence, they do not seek external validation. Their confidence comes from within. Therefore, they don’t waste their time and energy seeking the applause of the crowd since they already have a sense of their self-worth.

Following are 7 qualities magnetic people exhibit that draw people towards them. Make these qualities your own to increase your happiness and success in the New Year!

1. RESPECT everyone. Magnetic people treat the janitor and the CEO with the same sincere respect all people deserve. It’s a golden rule of life that many people have forgotten in their hurried lives and their search for more – of everything – power, money and what I like to call “stuff”.

2. Laser Focus on People Rather than “Stuff” – Following on the heels of #1, magnetic people demonstrate a genuine interest in others.

They share their most precious commodity with you – their time – and they never make you feel as if you are wasting it. They ask you how you are – and they actually stop to wait and listen to your response. They express genuine concern for you.

3. Build Trust. Because magnetic people treat you with respect and give you their time, they build trusting relationships.

They express genuine concern about your concerns and interests – which encourage you to share more of your true feelings with them. Over time, these interactions build genuine relationships based on trust.

4. Inquire about YOU! Magnetic people don’t babble on about themselves – they ask about you. They don’t dominate a conversation with how successful and how smart they are. They are not trying to impress you. Rather, they are trying to get to know you and they demonstrate this interest by focusing the conversation on you.

5. Learn What Motivates You! Magnetic people know that different things motivate people. For example, some people crave attention and flattery while others prefer not to be spotlighted.

Magnetic people have the ability to pick up on the subtle clues people give out that tell you how they want to be treated and approached – making everyone around them feel comfortable.

6. Possess Integrity and Character. Magnetic people do the right thing at the right time – even when it is hard and even if no one is watching. These are the cornerstone traits of people with integrity and character.

Magnetic people do what they tell you they are going to do – without you having to follow-up with them. They also say what they mean and mean what they say. In other words, they are not full of bull.

Their integrity and character is demonstrated in their absolute refusal to engage in gossip or bad mouth others.

7. Smile. Magnetic people smile. We unconsciously gravitate towards people who smile because they make us feel good about ourselves. To read more about the value of smiling, click here to read an interesting article published in Neuroscience News.

During conversation, people naturally mirror the body language of the person with whom they are speaking, so who wouldn’t prefer to speak with someone who is smiling?

If the only New Year’s Resolution you make for 2016 is to magnetize yourself – success and happiness will be yours.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox