Archive for Relationship Skills

Wouldn’t you like to know how people with high Emotional Intelligence network? Watch this brief video where I share 3 tools all emotionally intelligent people use to successfully network.


#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork #emotionalintelligence

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Wouldn’t it be a tremendous advantage if you could increase your emotional intelligence (E.I.) at work & in your personal relationships? Watch this brief video where I share 3 habits that highly emotionally intelligent people consistently display.


#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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Nov
24

Be Thankful

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Happy Thanksgiving

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

Author Unknown

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Navigating life's transitions We all experience a series of transitions throughout our lives, both personally and professionally. Even when transitions are positive, they can be quite stressful.

Graduating from college, getting married (or divorced), having a baby, beginning a new job, entering a new relationship, etc. all create stress.

Since transitions and change are a constant part of life, they are impossible to avoid.

Therefore, the better equipped you are to handle and navigate life’s transitions, the happier and more successful you’ll be!

Following are four easy ways to navigate life’s transitions (so they don’t overwhelm you and stress you out).

1. The famous Greek philosopher Socrates said: “Know Thyself”. Different people can tolerate different levels of stress.

Understand your own limitations. Know how much stress you can tolerate – and respect it. This will help you avoid (or minimize) feeling overwhelmed and unduly stressed out during times of change. Naturally, it will be helpful for you to control what you can realistically control.

We cannot control everything that happens to us in life- but we are able to control some things.

If you are uncomfortable with a lot of major changes happening all at once, do your best to keep these changes to a minimum (when possible).

For example, if you are moving to a new apartment, perhaps you shouldn’t be looking for a new job at the same time.

If you are one of the fortunate few who can emotionally tolerate a lot of changes going on at once – you still need to recognize that transitions are stressful. Don’t be caught off guard and pile on the changes unnecessarily – just because you think you “can”.

2. Reach Out to Your Support System. Whether you are transitioning into a new job, a new intimate relationship or moving to a new city, etc., access your support system.

Reach out to the people who can emotionally support you during times of change. We all know who these people are in our lives.

It is very difficult to handle transitions by yourself – so don’t!

If you begin to feel overwhelmed by a personal or professional change, seek emotional support from others.

Whether it’s your friends and/or family that comes through for you in the clutch, reach out to them. Let them know what change(s) you are going through so they can ease the bumpy emotional roller coaster ride that comes with the territory.

This support can go a long way in helping you move ahead to see light at the end of what might begin to feel like a very long dark tunnel.

3. Be Realistic. Give yourself a realistic timeframe to get used to the change.

Your identity is changing – and it will take time to adjust to the “new” you. So give yourself the time it takes to feel comfortable in your new skin.

It might take a full year to feel comfortable or confident in your new job or relationship. Expecting to adjust sooner than is realistically possible will only add more stress to an already stressful situation.

Therefore, give yourself the gift of knowing it takes time to adjust and feel comfortable when transitioning throughout your life.

4. Expect to feel uncomfortable feelings. Even if you finally got that promotion you so desperately wanted, or you are a blushing bride or groom, don’t be surprised if you begin to feel somewhat overwhelmed and/or sad.

Transitioning implies closing one chapter in your life and opening another.

Even if the change you are experiencing is desirable, it may still take you out of your comfort zone – creating many unexpected and uncomfortable feelings.

Transitions, whether they are warmly welcomed or are suddenly imposed upon us, they present us with new challenges that create stress.

Knowing how much stress you can tolerate, reaching out to your support system, giving yourself a realistic timeframe to adjust to the changes while understanding that you might feel some sadness, are keys that will help you navigate life’s transitions as smoothly as possible.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

moneysworth2

Have you ever wondered where all your money goes? Do you control your money? Or does your money control you?

As the U.S. deadline for filing your tax return rapidly approaches (April 18), many of us suddenly realize we have no idea where our money goes. We haven’t a clue as to what we spent our money on.

No, this is not a blog about investing. This is a blog about valuing your hard-earned money so you can take control of how – and on what – you spend your money. This is a blog about giving your money a purpose that enriches your life!

Emotional Spending

Many people spend money to soothe emotions. They use money as an emotional elixir. Remember that time you were really pissed off at your partner – so you went shopping to blow off some steam? The next thing you know you bought a new pair of shoes and a pair of pants – neither of which you really needed.

Initially the purchases made you feel good; however this was a fleeting high.

read_more

 

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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As a relationship and communication expert, you know I sincerely believe all success begins with relationships. However, these relationships are only successful if they are authentic.

Authenticity must be at the very core of any trusting relationship. The #1 way to build trusting relationships is through effective communication.

Following are three key components of effective communication.

  1. Recognizing the fact that we live in an electronic world – face-to-face communication remains the most effective type of communication you can have when it comes to building trusting relationships.

    If there is any way possible to meet a client in person– by all means do so. Train, planes and automobiles can get you there.

    These face-to-face meetings might require more of your time (especially if it involves travel) – but its value towards building an honest trusting relationship makes it well worth the effort.

    Let’s be honest. Aren’t you more inclined to trust someone you have met in person, as opposed to only knowing someone through the Internet or telephone communications? Being in someone’s physical presence affords us the opportunity to get a “read on him or her” and size him or her up.

  2. The ability to actively listen is a vital component of effective communication. Actively engaging the speaker when they are talking by nodding your head and looking them in the eye shows the speaker you are fully present and listening carefully.

    Actively listening also provides you with the opportunity to ask for further clarification if you don’t understand something that is being said.

    Active listening makes the speaker feel valued because you are giving them your divided attention.

  3. Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Skills. Choose your words very carefully. Words are powerful. They can build or destroy relationships. Speak clearly and concisely. Avoid rambling on and on or going off on tangents. Nobody has time for nonsense.

    Over fifty percent of all communication takes place non-verbally. Therefore, what is not being said is sometimes more powerful and important to building a trusting relationship than what is being said.

    Make certain your body language (non-verbal communication) is consistent with your words (verbal communication).

If you want to build authentic trusting relationships, take the time to meet people face-to-face, the effort will be appreciated. Utilize active listening skills and be aware of your verbal and non-verbal messaging. Practicing these effective communication skills will build healthy relationships and increase your bottom line.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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As the year comes to a close, many people take stock of their lives and resolve to make positive changes in the New Year.

We all know the usual suspects: lose weight, exercise more, spend more time with the kids, read more, etc.

As a relationship expert I truly believe all success and happiness is built upon healthy relationships. And there is one New Year’s Resolution that will build these relationships!

Resolve to magnetize yourself in the New Year. No – not like a superhero, but the type of person who appears to naturally draw people to themselves.

Magnetic people are easy to be around and just as importantly, they make everyone around them feel at ease – and good about themselves.

Interestingly, magnetic people are not usually the smartest, richest or best-looking people in the room, (whew – qualifying most of us). However they possess qualities where people gravitate towards them anyway.

You want to work with – and for – magnetic people.

You want magnetic people at your parties.

You want magnetic people as your friend.

And so does everybody else!

Why?

Because magnetic people possess and radiate a positive energy that naturally draws people to them.

How?

What’s the secret behind this magnetism?

A simple, yet rare quality: self-confidence (not to be confused with arrogance).

Since magnetic people possess self-confidence, they do not seek external validation. Their confidence comes from within. Therefore, they don’t waste their time and energy seeking the applause of the crowd since they already have a sense of their self-worth.

Following are 7 qualities magnetic people exhibit that draw people towards them. Make these qualities your own to increase your happiness and success in the New Year!

1. RESPECT everyone. Magnetic people treat the janitor and the CEO with the same sincere respect all people deserve. It’s a golden rule of life that many people have forgotten in their hurried lives and their search for more – of everything – power, money and what I like to call “stuff”.

2. Laser Focus on People Rather than “Stuff” – Following on the heels of #1, magnetic people demonstrate a genuine interest in others.

They share their most precious commodity with you – their time – and they never make you feel as if you are wasting it. They ask you how you are – and they actually stop to wait and listen to your response. They express genuine concern for you.

3. Build Trust. Because magnetic people treat you with respect and give you their time, they build trusting relationships.

They express genuine concern about your concerns and interests – which encourage you to share more of your true feelings with them. Over time, these interactions build genuine relationships based on trust.

4. Inquire about YOU! Magnetic people don’t babble on about themselves – they ask about you. They don’t dominate a conversation with how successful and how smart they are. They are not trying to impress you. Rather, they are trying to get to know you and they demonstrate this interest by focusing the conversation on you.

5. Learn What Motivates You! Magnetic people know that different things motivate people. For example, some people crave attention and flattery while others prefer not to be spotlighted.

Magnetic people have the ability to pick up on the subtle clues people give out that tell you how they want to be treated and approached – making everyone around them feel comfortable.

6. Possess Integrity and Character. Magnetic people do the right thing at the right time – even when it is hard and even if no one is watching. These are the cornerstone traits of people with integrity and character.

Magnetic people do what they tell you they are going to do – without you having to follow-up with them. They also say what they mean and mean what they say. In other words, they are not full of bull.

Their integrity and character is demonstrated in their absolute refusal to engage in gossip or bad mouth others.

7. Smile. Magnetic people smile. We unconsciously gravitate towards people who smile because they make us feel good about ourselves. To read more about the value of smiling, click here to read an interesting article published in Neuroscience News.

During conversation, people naturally mirror the body language of the person with whom they are speaking, so who wouldn’t prefer to speak with someone who is smiling?

If the only New Year’s Resolution you make for 2016 is to magnetize yourself – success and happiness will be yours.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Many women make the mistake of believing their high quality work and professional dedication will be noticed AND then financially rewarded by their manager/boss if they just work hard and keep plugging away. Nothing could be farther from the truth. It would be nice to think superior work will get noticed and be rewarded – and it would be nice to think that the best person gets the promotion – but that is just not how the real world works! To insure your hard work does not go unrecognized by your upper management team, it is imperative you have a relationship with this team! You have to be known by your boss to get noticed by him/her! Otherwise, you are just another cog in the wheel.

Following are 3 key strategies that will help you develop a positive and healthy relationship with your boss – and facilitate your career advancement and financial reward!

  1. Make it Your Business that Your Boss Knows You! Chances are your boss is a very busy professional who is constantly being pulled in many different directions and who manages many people; therefore, the onus is on you to pull yourself out from the crowd and get noticed. There are many different ways this can be done so do what is most natural for you: schedule a productive meeting with the boss about a business matter that he/she is passionate about; make an appropriate personal connection based upon a shared hobby, interest etc. (you can find this out with just a little bit of research) For example, if your boss loves sports – and you do too, find an authentic way to bring it up during a conversation. Go out of your way to “run into” your boss in the hallway, in the parking lot etc. (do not confuse this with stalking – and I know you know what I mean!) In other words, find a way to make yourself VISIBLE and VALUED!

  2. Be a Problem-Solver & Initiate Solutions. One of the easiest ways to get recognized and rewarded by your boss is to take a glaring problem and find a solution. Bring innovation and enthusiasm to work – and make sure the boss knows you found the solution (without being a braggart). All bosses love problem solvers – and reward them!

  3. Be Likeable – that’s right, be the employee everyone loves to have around! Research shows people who are liked are paid more and have their mistakes forgiven more readily than people who are dis-liked. Your boss is human so he will want to promote and reward people he/she likes as well. No matter how fabulous you might be at your job – if you have an attitude you are less likely to be promoted, financially rewarded and liked by everyone – even your boss.

All success begins with relationships – and if you want to succeed, it is imperative you have a healthy relationship with your boss!

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

What exactly is emotional intelligence? John D. Mayer, one of two psychologists who coined the term in 1990 defined it in the Harvard Business Review as: “… the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions; to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships; and to manage your own and others’ emotions. It doesn’t necessarily include the qualities (like optimism, initiative and self-confidence) that some popular definitions ascribe to it.” To put it even more succinctly, I’ve defined emotional intelligence as the ability to use your emotions intelligently, in real time, to build and sustain relationships.

Research consistently shows, utilizing modern technology such as FMRI – Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging, and other high tech equipment, the intrinsic link between intelligence and emotions (brain and heart) – and the fact that great leaders are highly cognizant of this connection.

The days of the autocratic ruthless business leader who leaves a trail of dead bodies in its wake are gone for good – and good riddance to them. Millennials for sure, will not tolerate being treated as garbage – nor should anyone else.

Unlike your I.Q., there are many ways to exponentially increase your E.I. (emotional intelligence) throughout your lifetime. However, the absolute essential way is to increase your self-awareness. Know what makes you tick, especially what turns you off and makes you angry. These are often referred to as trigger points because they often trigger an unbridled emotional reaction, which we often regret. (And of course it is important to know what makes you happy.)

The greater awareness and understanding you have of your own emotions, the better you will be able to modify their expression to fit the situation at hand. Since my earlier definition of emotional intelligence states: “the ability to use your emotions intelligently” you see the obvious connection between awareness of your emotion so you can control its expression – instead of the emotions controlling you.

There is no education, no position and no title that takes the place of self-awareness when one is in a leadership position. We cannot undo the damage of harsh words expressed to the wrong person at the wrong time in the wrong way. When this happens, our ability to lead is extremely compromised.

Therefore, if you want to become a great leader, begin with a sincere commitment to self-awareness.

 

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Eating "paleo" refers to consuming foods eaten by man during the Paleolithic Era, i.e., meat, vegetables, fruits, sugars and other natural foods found in nature. All processed foods are considered a "no no" and are banished from your diet. This back to basic approach of consuming only foods found in nature has been embraced by millions of people and is currently all the rage. Of course, like many things, the paleo way of eating is not without its controversy due to its ban on white flour and many of our other beloved carbohydrate filled comfort foods such as cookies, bread, cakes, etc.; nevertheless, many nutritional experts applaud it as a common sense approach to healthy eating.

So what could paleo eating and success in your business and career possibly have in common? Actually – pretty much everything. Approaching your career/business from a back to basic, natural common sense approach is vital to your success. Yes, professional knowledge and modern technology are also key components to your success – make no mistake about it – all the latest and greatest gadgets and technological advances will be absolutely meaningless if you lose sight of what is at the very heart of your business/career – and that is your client – and your ability to build a healthy trusting relationship with them! As Stephen Covey said: All Success Begins With Relationships!

Following are 3 "paleo-like" ways to nurture the core of your success on a daily basis – and it is much more about who you are than about what you know.

  1. Authenticity – whatever you do – it is imperative you are authentic and genuine. Show up in a real and genuine way. Don’t fake being anything you aren’t because it will only be a matter of time before you are exposed for whom you really are – and your lack of authenticity will come back to haunt you in both obvious and not so obvious ways!

  2. Collaborate with others. Although you alone are responsible for meeting your professional objectives and ultimately – your success, it is imperative you remember it is NOT all about you! Collaborate with others and remember that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts!

  3. Character and Integrity must be an integral part of not only what you do- but who you really are! The golden rule applies here: i.e., treat others with the same respect and courtesy that you would like to be treated with. Not only will this make you likeable (and yes, it matters a lot if people like you), it will help you build a positive rapport with others. Approaching every aspect of your life with character and integrity provides you with the added benefit of building authentic relationships based on trust. No one wants to do business with anyone they don’t trust!

In the final analysis, we are all ultimately responsible for our own success; however, no one has ever achieved success on their own. Therefore, as Paleolithic man survived by eating natural foods, so too will your business and career not only survive – but also thrive – if you show up in a genuine manner, collaborate and help others without worrying about what’s in it for you – and live your life with the utmost integrity and character. Because when all is said and done – the good guy – and gal – will prevail!

(From Huffington Post 3/6/2015)

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Categories : Relationship Skills
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