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Nov
21

Thanksgiving & Gratitude

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Video clip of Dr. Patty Ann from Saturday, 11/19 on @WFSB sharing ways to express your gratitude & increase your happiness!

 

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Difference Between How Often Men and Women Negotiate

A study by Harvard Business Review revealed that when men and women do negotiate, men tend to negotiate twice as often as women. When men were asked when their most recent negotiation was, they responded, “Within roughly the past two weeks,” while women responded to the same question by answering, “Within roughly the past four weeks.” Furthermore, when it came to future negotiations, an article published in Harvard Business Review found that women predicted they would enter into them in approximately four weeks, while men responded by answering within only one week.

Differences Between The Manner in Which Men & Women Negotiate

While negotiating, men tend to be more aggressive. They utilize the competitive skills they learned in childhood and carry them forth into the workforce, resulting in a winner-take-all mentality.

Conversely, women are generally more reluctant to ask for a raise because they don’t want to be seen as competitive, stepping “out of line,” or risking behavior that might be interpreted as selfish, demanding, or not being a team player.

Double Standard for Women When Asking for a Raise

Unfortunately, women have reason to pause before asking for a raise. Research has consistently validated that women who ask for more or demand more within the workplace are often looked down upon, while men who do the same are applauded. (Psychologytoday.com)

This double standard must cease if we want to end the gender wage gap. We must allow more women to come forward with confidence to advocate for more responsibility, to gain access to the decision-makers, and to negotiate what they deserve to be paid.

While being cognizant of all the pitfalls and dangers previously discussed in this book, women must remember that “Forewarned is forearmed.”

The above blog is an excerpt taken from my Amazon Best Selling book: “Money Can Buy You Happiness: Secrets Women Need to Know to Get Paid What They Are Worth!” To order this book click here: www.womenandmoneybook.com

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #relationshipexpert

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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The arrival of my third son following a difficult pregnancy and birth of identical twin boys two years earlier nearly put me over the edge. While life is considered a blessing, the ensuing exhaustion wasn’t. And work-life balance – yeah, right! I couldn’t even finish a hot cup of coffee during those years, let alone find work-life balance! Life was one big sleep deprived blur!

Have you ever experienced stages of your life where there just weren’t enough hours in the day? Everything seemed out of control? And sleep was a distant memory?

Former Google CFO

Small business owners, entrepreneurs, corporate executives and entry-level workers all want the same thing. A successful business/career, while – well, having a happy life!

Earlier this year Patrick Pichette, former Google CFO announced he was retiring to spend more time with his family. Pichette earnestly described his personal struggles with work-life balance. While many people do not share Pichette’s luxury of calling it a day upon feeling life is passing you by, asking some easy questions I outlined in my Amazon best-selling book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run! Enrich Your Marriage While Prospering in Your Business” http://relationshiptoolbox.com/products/book-not-tonight-dear/ will help you reconcile your work and family/life responsibilities. These were the questions I wish someone told me to ask myself when I was a young entrepreneur struggling to “have it all!”

Fifty Questions to Ask for Achieving Work-Life Balances

Following are Fifty Questions I’ve designed from my research and understanding of what successful entrepreneurial people and couples consider when venturing into an entrepreneurial business. The answer to these questions will help you avoid achieving professional success at the expense of personal happiness.

Financial Considerations

Initial Investment

1. How much initial capital will be necessary?

2. Will you need to borrow capital to invest?

3. What proportion of your total assets will you need to invest?

4. What major purchases are required?

Ongoing Investment

5. How much cash is required monthly to support the business?

Length of Time Before Positive Cash Flow

6. What is the learning curve in this business? How much time will it take before you can expect to be profitable?

Income Projections

7. What are the reasonable expectations for positive cash flow in three, six, and nine months, one year, two years, five years?

For the complete list of these questions, please click here.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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Listen to Dr. Patty Ann Tublin’s radio interview on 95.9 THE FOX with Chaz & AJ in the Morning as she discusses the Cleveland Ohio girls and their captors.

Part One:

Part Two:

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This article was originally published in The Daily Muse and then selected and published by FORBES. It answers the question on how to get a reader’s husband to support her business. You definitely do not want to miss this article.

Starting a business is a huge personal commitment, but it’s also a commitment for your spouse and family. So, what happens when they aren’t exactly thrilled about your entrepreneurial aspirations? Fran Dorf, author of the “Just Ask Me” advice column at The Daily Muse, weighs in.

Dear Fran,

I have been dreaming of having my own business for years, and in the last few years I’ve come up with an idea for a business in the health and wellness space that I think is a winner. Of course, due to the demands of everyday life (mortgage, student loans, a baby on the way), I’ve been working in a corporate job for almost eight years. But I’m finally ready to take the plunge and at least begin to explore my entrepreneurial side. I know it’s not realistic to quit my day job anytime soon, but I realize that if I don’t get my business underway, well, it’s not going to get underway on its own.

Here’s the real issue: My husband of five years is not fully supportive of this idea. He is a very structured person and looks at the house repairs, the cost of a new baby, and any number of practical things as perfectly good reasons for us not to go down the path of owning a business. He always promises that “someday” we can look into it, “someday” we’ll have money to invest in our own business, but that now is just not the right time. I understand that we have things coming up in our life, but if we don’t do something soon, another eight years are going to fly by.

I have no idea how to begin to resolve this conflict—it’s something that neither of us can really understand the other’s perspective on at all. Where do I start?

Eager Entrepreneur

Dear Eager:

I certainly don’t want to discourage you from pursuing your dream, but I must remind you of three statistics that you probably already know. The first is that half of all marriages end in divorce. The second is that the chances of succeeding in a small business are less than 1 in 10. And the third is that you’re about to increase your family by 50%, leading to an increase in demands on your time, budget, and energy of about 500%.

That said, the health and wellness space is growing, and with a great idea, plus very careful thought and planning for your marriage, family, and your business, you might be able to increase the odds of success on all fronts.

The first thing I want you to do is make a date with your husband to begin discussing this. Make it several weeks or a month from now so you both have a chance to prepare, and so you (or maybe both of you) have a chance to read a book called, Not Tonight, Dear, I Have a Business to Run, by Dr. Patty Ann Tublin. (Full disclosure—Patty Ann is a friend of mine, but seriously, her book speaks to the exact issues you’re up against.)

As the wife of a serial entrepreneur, I know firsthand that creating a successful business requires a commitment of time, energy, and effort beyond anything you may imagine. You may find yourself working harder than ever, and your family and relationship may suffer in ways you can’t even conceive now. Consider, for example, how resentful (not to mention tired) you’ll be if you find yourself doing laundry at 3 AM, because you’ve failed to negotiate an even distribution of domestic chores. To guard against this, Dr. Patty Ann suggests creating a “family plan” as well as a “business plan.” You might begin by thinking about these questions:

  • Are you so excited about the prospect of having your own business that you’re discounting your husband’s right to resist?
  • Can you create a business plan that starts with relatively less risky steps to help you analyze the market, find your customers, discover their needs and thoughts about your business idea, and then alter your strategy if your customers tell you to do so? Ideally, this will help both you and your husband feel more comfortable about the prospects for success.
  • Are you assuming that he will ever (or never) be willing to make personal, relationship, or lifestyle adjustments to support this?
  • Are you used to discussing openly with him questions related to your relationship, family, and lifestyle?

Next, to get you thinking about the vast array of financial, time, office, lifestyle, personal, relationship, and family issues that will impact both of you, check out Dr. Patty Ann’s “Discovery Exercise One.” Here are a handful of questions to get you started:

  • How much initial capital investment will be required?
  • What is the length of time before you can expect positive cash flow?
  • Can you test the waters while keeping your current job?
  • How stressful for you would this business be? How can you learn to deal with stress better?
  • How demanding will the working schedule be?
  • Will you have to sacrifice anything important to your physical, emotional, and spiritual health to succeed in this business?
  • How does this business support your short- and long-term goals as a couple?
  • How could this business improve, solidify, or sustain your relationship?
  • How could this business jeopardize or deteriorate your relationship?
  • How might this business interfere with caring for your children, or other family members’ daily needs?

As you begin to discuss this with your husband, remember that in every aspect of marriage, communication skills are key. Never assume you know how your husband is thinking about an issue until you ask him, just as he should never assume anything about what you’re thinking.

Once you begin really talking and planning, you may find, for example, that while he has understandable anxiety, underneath he’s actually quite interested and supportive. He may become more interested if you can somehow integrate him, perhaps by soliciting his ideas, or by considering making him a business partner at some point in the future, when you have some tangible success and can expand. You may find that what he’s worried about is quite different than what you think he’s worried about. And you may be surprised to find that his worries are completely reasonable and should be vetted.

When your date night is over, make another. In fact, make this an ongoing dialogue until both of you feel heard, and until you’ve given him (and allowed yourself) time and space to fully air your concerns and risks inherent in this kind of undertaking.

I’m certain that this sort of heart-to-heart will help you begin to convert the “someday” he refers to into something more tangible. And here’s one possible first step (that adheres to modern entrepreneurial strategy): Create a survey you can distribute to potential customers to help you analyze the feasibility of the business. This will help both of you feel more confident as you begin to take the steps that risk more.

I can’t tell you what to do if your husband simply refuses to discuss this or can’t keep an open mind. I can, however, warn you that resentment in a marriage is poison, and that if this is truly your dream and your husband stonewalls it, resentment is bound to rear its ugly head.

I wish you the very best of luck in your business and your marriage. Don’t forget to sleep! How exciting!

Fran

(Published on Forbes.com http://onforb.es/MyJ8WN)

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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Do you know what work/life balance & unicorns have in common? I am serious. Think about it for a moment and you will begin to see where I am going with this. Work/life balance and unicorns are both myths – and it is my sincere belief that work/life balance is THE biggest myth perpetuated on women, and families in general since – I don’t know – belief in unicorns. We want to believe work/life balance exists; we try really hard to have “it”. But tell me, do you honestly know one woman that feels as if they have actually achieved it? I don’t – and I know a lot of pretty smart successful women!

To make matters worse, there are so many books, articles, workshops, seminars, etc., out there supposedly teaching women how to achieve this nirvana called work/life balance. And for the life of me – I cannot possibly imagine what the facts are behind these programs and articles being offered up in search of this Holy Grail.

And I have to tell you, women are so busy multi-tasking at the speed of light, doing a million different things all at the same time (or at least it feels that way) – the last thing we need is to be spending time, energy and effort trying to obtain something that doesn’t exist. Isn’t it bad enough that we all feel as if there are not enough hours in the day to get all our work done, take care of the kid(s), the house, connect with our spouses (or significant other), let alone have any time for ourselves – we now have to also feel badly for not attaining work/life balance – which is, quite frankly, unattainable?!

So what is the answer? How do women create a life & business they really love? Rather than striving to achieve something that doesn’t exist, like work/life balance, we need a proven system and strategy for reconciling our work and family responsibilities. This is done by creating a family plan & business plan that complements – rather than competes against each other. This is exactly what my new book: “Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got a Business to Run! Enrich Your Marriage While Prospering in Your Business” shows you how to do. Order it here now by clicking on this link… http://relationshiptoolbox.com/products/book-not-tonight-dear/

 

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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This week’s ezine is going to address question #4 of the five key questions you must first ask yourself that will help you predict the compatibility between entrepreneurship and your marriage: Is your partner cognizant of the sacrifices you may have to endure to make your business succeed, especially when your entrepreneurial business is in the start up phase? These sacrifices include the time, resources and energy any start up business requires before it makes even one dollar of profit.

Entrepreneurial businesses do not create wealth or even one dime of profit instantly. As is true for most things in life, success in business requires countless hours of time, energy and dedication long before the business becomes profitable. Just as a strong house is built upon a solid foundation, a strong business is built upon a solid infrastructure that requires hours of tireless work that lays the cornerstone for a successful business. Much of this initial sweat equity does not result in immediate profit. This foundation however, is critical for the future success of your business, one that creates a leveraged, sustainable operation.

So how does your relationship survive the hard work required during the initial, and expansion phase of your entrepreneurial endeavor?

It is imperative you communicate to your partner not only the amount of time it requires to build this solid foundation for your business but that you also communicate the need to finance this foundation before your business begins to make money. As anyone in business knows, it takes money to make money – entrepreneurial endeavors are no different. Most relationships run into considerable difficulty when one spouse is in the start-up phase of their entrepreneurial business because a lack of clear, effective communication discussing the amount of commitment and sacrifice needed to create a successful entrepreneurial business has never been discussed. How can you expect your spouse to support a business when all they see are your time, energy and devotion being poured into it – and it only appears to be creating debt – from their perspective. If nothing has ever been explained to them about what your entrepreneurial business will require of you, especially in the start-up phase, how can you expect their support for it?

Think about the frustration you sometimes feel as your business drains you of time and energy and money – even though you are committed to it and believe in it. Can you imagine what your spouse feels if you have not communicated the hard work required to build the business – leaving them in the dark?

Communicate to your partner what is required to make your business successful in terms of time, energy, dedication and money. This is the only way to insure your partner will get on board with you for the entrepreneurial ride that surely awaits you. Communication is the foundation you need in your marriage so you do not have to sacrifice your marriage for entrepreneurial success.

Entrepreneurship requires enough sacrifices – do not make your marriage/relationship one of them.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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The one constant you can count on when you are an entrepreneur is change. This week’s ezine is going to help you answer question #3 of the 5 questions every entrepreneur must ask themselves if their relationship is to survive their entrepreneurial business: “Are your financial, emotional and spiritual wants and needs similar enough to withstand the unpredictability entrepreneurship will bring into your lives?” Being an entrepreneur is not just about being your own boss – it represents who you are as an individual. Entrepreneurs are risk-takers who desire to create their own path in life rather than follow the path someone else has paved. Sure, entrepreneurship represents a business path; however, your entrepreneurial success and/or struggles impact not only your business but your entire life – and your marriage. Unlike a traditional job where you work for someone else, an entrepreneur cannot always separate their business from their other relationships – especially their marriage. Why? Because entrepreneurs take their business “personally” because their work is something they have created and own.

Given the unpredictability of being an entrepreneur, the one thing that is constant is change. This constant change will have a very strong impact on your financial, emotional and spiritual life – and that of your spouse. Your financial situation might take a roller coaster ride – with a lot of money coming in at times and no money coming in at other times – and many times you will be unable to predict this financial feast and/or famine. You might need to take on some debt for awhile before your business ever turns a profit. Are you comfortable with this financial arrangement? And just as importantly, is your spouse comfortable with this arrangement? You need to look at and discuss the financial ramifications of entrepreneurship with your spouse to make sure you can endure potential financial uncertainty together. Do NOT assume your spouse knows about this financial roller coaster ride. The one thing most people do not like is financial surprises.

Speak to any successful entrepreneur and they will tell you entrepreneurship requires more sweat equity than they initially thought it would. Many spouses of entrepreneurs will tell you they sometimes feel their spouses’ business is a mistress – because of all the long hours and emotional commitment the business requires of their spouse – leaving little or no time and/or emotional energy for their relationship. Are you prepared for the long hours and emotional commitment it takes to make your business successful? Have you communicated to your spouse the amount of time, emotional energy and commitment your business will require to be successful? Is your spouse on board with this? Can your marriage withstand the long work hours and emotional commitment many businesses require – at least in the start-up phase (and often beyond)?

Are you a spiritual person? Is your spouse a spiritual person? Will your spiritual practices be impacted by your entrepreneurial work? Are you willing to close up shop during religious holidays if that is important to you – knowing as an entrepreneur you do not get paid for personal days, vacation days, religious observances, etc. It is imperative you and your spouse understand your spiritual beliefs and needs, and discuss how your entrepreneurial lifestyle will impact this aspect of your lives and relationship.

There are no correct answers to the questions posed above. The answer to these questions is different for each marriage. The answers will give you a pretty good indicator as to whether your marriage will be able to survive whatever challenges your entrepreneurial lifestyle will present to you in the future.

Remember, change is the one constant for entrepreneurs. Answering the above questions with your spouse will help you predict if your relationship can stay solid and strong during these times of change.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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Join 20 of the most forward-thinking, successful conscious entrepreneurs in business today (including yours truly) for life-changing access to discover how they:

  • Balance business with family without the guilt
  • Make more money while working less because they’ve discovered how to be themselves in a way that feels great and has potential clients rushing to work with them
  • Found a way to overcome burnout and overwhelm by being true to themselves
  • Struggled with fear and self-doubt but figured out how to use that to their benefit
  • Embraced their personal power and said “yes!” to their dream
  • Made the decision to create their ideal lives and found the mentors to help them (just like you will when you join this Telesummit)

We’re unveiling the 1st ever Money and Freedom for Mompreneurs Telesummit, a gathering of women who are creating a NEW MODEL of leadership – one that you may not even know about.

If you’re feeling out of balance, exhausted, frustrated and underpaid, you’ll really want to come see what this is all about!

I invite you to take this step now, not only for yourself – but to be more for your family and for the world that is calling you into your power.

Click here to learn more and receive free instant access.

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

PS – This event is going to fill up quickly so I encourage you to grab your spot new.
Click here.

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All the madness and hustle and bustle of holiday shopping is finally behind you. It is now time to reap the fruits of your labor.

You have put so much time and effort into making sure everyone receives just the right gift or maybe you spent all your energies baking everyone’s favorite dessert or meal. Whatever activities you immersed yourself in to make these holidays special for the people you love, it is now time for you to kick back, relax and take pleasure in all your hard work and truly enjoy these holiday festivities.

Let me remind of a few tips we discussed in earlier issues of this ezine.

  1. Try to ignore the inappropriate remarks that may be directed towards you and/or your partner tonight or tomorrow. Keep your sense of humor and laugh it all away.
  2. Moderation is the key – enjoy your favorite holiday treats and egg nog drinks – just don’t go overboard. The more you eat and drink, the less you will enjoy!
  3. Avoid known holiday troublemakers and if the conversation takes a turn for the worse – remove yourself and your partner from any uncomfortable situation you see developing.
  4. Step under the mistletoe and kiss your partner. That’s what it’s there for, so have some fun with it.
  5. Toast to your relationship. Let your loved one know how much you appreciate their love and support in your life.
  6. Sit by the fireplace with the one you love – and enjoy together the warmth and glow of this special holiday season.

Spread good cheer to all you love!

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life!

Dr. Patty Ann

www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog

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