Archive for Women and Money

Wouldn’t you like to know how people with high Emotional Intelligence network? Watch this brief video where I share 3 tools all emotionally intelligent people use to successfully network.


#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork #emotionalintelligence

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Feeling pressed for time, I accidentally hit “reply all” instead of “reply” when responding to an email. As soon as my finger left the key, panic struck! I immediately began worrying about the negative ramifications of my mistake and whom I might have pissed off!

Can you relate to the feeling of dread and panic described above? Does your behavior when stressed tend to help or harm your efforts?

Given the unrelenting demands most of us experience, I’m pretty sure we’ve all wanted a “do over” from time to time. Not only has social media made such a "do over" impossible, it often allows our mistakes to live on forever in a gazillion social platforms.

If only we could stay calm under pressure!

“Keep Calm and Carry On!”

The key to staying calm under pressure is found in our brain. If we can train our brain to be our ally, instead of our foe when stressed, we will be able to stay calm under pressure.

Following are 10 effective behaviors that will train your brain to help you stay calm under pressure.

1. Be Grateful! Countless research demonstrates that people who are grateful for the positive things in their lives have lower cortisol levels – the hormone associated with stress. Researchers at the University of California, Davis demonstrated that people who felt gratitude had increased energy, positive moods and an overall healthy sense of well-being. If you begin your day feeling calm, it will be easier to stay calm when stress comes your way.

For more information on how gratitude impacts your health and your ability to handle stress, click here.

2. Think Positively. When under pressure, if you can think of a positive situation or thought, it will distract your brain from dwelling on the negativity of the stressful situation, which often feeds on itself, creating a circular doom and gloom case scenario in your brain.

Thinking positive thoughts allows your brain to keep stress in check by shifting its attention to a “stress-free” zone in our brain.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” William James

3. Go off the Grid. I know, I know, it is really hard to shut off your cell phone, pull yourself away from your computer, and totally disengage from the electronic world. However, it is imperative you do just that; otherwise you are in danger of frying your brain and burning out. If feeling overwhelmed is your emotional baseline, stressful situations are bound to put you over the edge.

Being constantly “on” does not give your brain the opportunity to rest, de-stress and re-charge, making manageable irritations feel unmanageable.

If you’re reading this blog I’m pretty sure our national security is not riding on your availability. Therefore, train yourself and let others know (in an appropriate way) that you are “off the grid” for specific periods of time such as evenings or weekends.

4. Get Sleep. When we are sleep deprived normal stressors are blown out of proportion, often feeling insurmountable. Following a good night’s sleep, that same stressor experienced when sleep deprived doesn’t feel like such a big deal.

Take a page from the old milk commercial: “sleep does a body good!” Click here to read the scientific proof behind this statement.

5. Be Active. Physical activity keeps your body and mind healthy. You don’t have to train for a triathlon to gain all the wonderful benefits physical activity has on your health and overall well being. Simple activities such as walking and climbing stairs get the job done.

Physical activity stimulates the vagus nerve (a part of the autonomic nervous system) that calms the body down, which is necessary for staying calm when under pressure.

6. Practice Meditation. Studies show meditation helps with stress, blood pressure and staying calm in stressful situations. Meditation activates alpha brainwaves that relax you, allowing you to mentally distract yourself from things that are bothering you. Click here to read more on how mediation helps you stay calm when stressed.

7. Don’t Play the Victim. When things don’t go according to plan, professionally and personally, avoid the “whoa is me” thinking. Playing the victim only adds stress to what is an already stressful situation.

Remember – we cannot control all the stressors that appear in our lives, but we can control how we respond to them.

8. Eat Healthy. A few years ago my son introduced me to a book titled: “It Starts With Food” – and the title says it all. Food provides the fuel and foundation for a healthy brain. A healthy brain is key to staying calm when under duress.

9. Breathe Fully. Breathing provides oxygen to the brain. IF the brain is not appropriately oxygenated, it is impossible to stay calm under pressure.

The appropriate way to breathe is to inhale deeply filling up your chest and stomach with air, then exhaling slowly and deliberately. Click here to read more on how to breathe stress out of your body.

10. Keep it All in Perspective. Two questions I’ve asked my clients and kids over the years when things go wrong: “What is the worst thing that can happen now?” and “Will this make any difference in two years?”

Chances are the answer to these questions will not incur loss of life. Anything less than that must be kept in perspective. Sure, your boss might yell at you, you might lose a big account, your spouse might be really pissed off, but nobody is going to die.

Incorporating the above behaviors into your life will result in having a trained brain that will help you stay calm when under pressure.

#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork #femalefinancialfitness

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 


#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork #femalefinancialfitness

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Categories : Women and Money
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Secret to a Successful Salary NegotiationAre you sick and tired of being underpaid? Read today’s newsletter where I share the ONLY secret you need to know for a successful salary negotiation.

Money does indeed make the world go round!

Let’s be completely honest – we are all working to make money.

(Some women appear to have a more difficult time embracing this concept than men, but that is a story for another day.)

Sure, many people work because they truly want to make a difference and to make the world a better place – and this is quite admirable.

But it’s hard to help others if we are continually stressed out about money –

worried about paying our bills

worried about having enough money to put our kids through college

worried about acquiring the financial security needed to retire.

Negotiation Secret

You’ve been frustrated in your futile attempts to secure a real pay raise for years.

You did your research and you know your worth.

You’ve consistently demonstrated your value and connected the dots between what you do and how it correlates to increased revenue for your company.

You’ve met with the decision-maker(s) and yet, time and time again you’ve walked away either empty-handed or with the ridiculous party line: “no one is getting a pay raise this year” blah blah blah.

Before your next salary negotiation meeting, begin to strategize for your raise -now -by asking the powers that be this ONE question:

“What are you doing now that you can’t stand doing – and that I can do for you?”

Can you imagine the shock and pleasantly surprised reaction that spreads upon your boss’ face as they begin to realize they can unload all the work they hate doing – freeing them up to do more of the work they enjoy.

Final Thought

Asking this one question consistently – and performing the given work earnestly – will set you up for a positive salary negotiation.

AND whom do you think your boss will think of when the next promotion comes along?

By laying the foundation for your salary negotiation to be about your company –and not about you – will set you up for a successful salary negotiation.

#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork #femalefinancialfitness #communicationexpert

~ as published in The Huffington Post

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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Wouldn’t you agree that great leadership begins with a growth mindset?
Watch this brief video where I share the 3 qualities of a growth mindset that all leaders possess.


#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork

~ as published in The Huffington Post

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
www.linkedin.com/in/drpattyanntublin
 

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4 Communication Mistakes It’s pretty safe to say everyone agrees that effective communication skills are a vital “soft” skill for success yes?

But many people are totally unaware of every day communication mistakes that go unchecked.

These mistakes not only get in the way of your success – but they also piss people off – damaging important work relationships.

Following are 4 common communication mistakes that piss people off – and how to stop them.

4 Communication Mistakes that Piss People Off

1. Constantly interrupting when others are speaking.

We all know who these people are and they really piss us off.

Interruptions can take many forms. The most common is the question that just can’t wait until we are finished speaking our thought and/or presentation. The interrupter needs to have their question answered now!

People who constantly interrupt others exhibit poor listening skills and are usually not interested in what you are saying.

Interrupters have to say what they need to say the moment a thought or comment or question pops into their head.

No filter.

Quite frankly, they don’t really care to listen to what you have to say – after all, it’s really all about them.

If you want to damage your work relationship – make it a point to interrupt every chance you get. People will surely be pissed off at you.

Solution: Make a conscious effort to pause and breathe deeply before opening your mouth to speak. This takes practice but it is a skill that can be learned.

2. The Space Invader invades our personal space by standing way too close to us during a conversation.

This invasion of our personal space leaves us feeling uncomfortable and a little anxious at times.

Why? Space invaders upset our human desire to avoid “getting so close to other people.” For a more detailed discussion of personal space go to: http://bit.ly/personal-spaces

The appropriate speaking distance between two people, although it varies according to culture and level of intimacy, is between four (4) ft. and twelve (12) ft.

Solution: Simply know what 4-12 ft. looks like and put it into play.

3. Constantly breaking eye contact during a conversation. If you want to send someone the message they do not have your full attention –let your eyes frequently wander away from them while they are speaking.

Glancing at our phone, checking our watch –doing all sorts of other seemingly benign behavior– sends the message that you are distracted.

Or, perhaps even worse, that you have something better to do with your time than listen to them.

Conversely, unrelentingly staring at someone while they are speaking can be intimidating – and downright creepy.

You know the stare – we all do. It can leave us feeling intimidated. And no one likes it one bit.

Solution: Maintain appropriate genuine eye contact throughout the conversation. You do not want to be constantly looking away from the speaker – nor do you want to appear obsessively “locked in”. Either behavior will piss people off.

4. Poor Body Language

Over fifty (50%) of all communication takes place non-verbally. More specifically, our body language screams messages without uttering one word!

Poor posture, fidgeting, flailing arms and anything else that might distract the listener will inhibit your ability to get your message across.

Besides being distracting, it can be annoying and irritating – and yes, you guessed it, piss people off.

If you want to communicate your message with confidence, competence and poise – you must look confident, competent and poised.

Solution: Practice speaking in front of a mirror or video yourself speaking and then watch the video with the volume turned off. This will give you great insight into what message your body language is sending. Or perhaps ask someone you trust to evaluate your body language while speaking.

Practice, practice, and practice some more.

Some people are naturally effective communicators, most of us are not.

Remember – the goal of communication is to connect with others, ditch any behavior that advances this goal.

#communicationexpert #womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

~ as published in The Huffington Post

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

great-communicators-smlDon’t you just love this quote from the comedian George Bernard Shaw: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Ineffective communication is often at the root of failed leadership, disengaged employees, poor customer service and failed marriages.

The inability to connect with others is a symptom of ineffective communication.

John C. Maxwell, an internationally renowned leadership expert wrote a best selling book titled: “Everyone communicates, Few Connect”.

How true that statement is!

“Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” John C Maxwell

The ability to connect is what all great communicators nail down.

And they connect with people on an emotional level.

It is impossible to become a great leader, a great spouse, a great parent and a great friend if you cannot connect with others.

You can’t influence someone if you can’t build a connection with them.

Following are 7 effective strategies that great communicators use to connect with people.

Master these skills and watch your connection and influence with others soar!

1. It’s Not About ME – it’s about YOU (the person or the audience).

Great communicators do not try to impress their audience with their credentials, what they know and how smart they are.

They relate to the audience based upon where the audience is – so they feel understood.

This is true whether it is an audience of one or one million people.

2. Authentic. Great communicators stay true to themselves.

People can smell a phony a mile away! That is why great communicators don’t try to be anyone they are not.

People are drawn to others who radiate authenticity and honesty.

When people are drawn to you – chances are they will be drawn to your message as well.

Authenticity is the glue that binds the connection.

3. Read Body Language Like a Book. Research shows well over 50% of all communication is non-verbal. Therefore, the greatest source of truthful information is revealed in people’s body language.

Body language is constant. Unlike verbal communication, non-verbal communication never stops. It’s always sending signals about how someone thinks and feels.

Great communicators are experts when it comes to reading body language. They can read facial expressions and other non-verbal gestures that reveal how someone really feels and what they really think (which may be at odds with what they say).

Every great communicator knows it is just as important to know what is not being said, as much as it is to know what is being said.

4. Communicate with Authority without being Arrogant. Great communicators speak clearly and directly about how they feel and what they believe.

They do not leave you guessing as to what their message is because they tell it like it is.

Although great communicators are direct, they are not rude or offensive.

5. Active Listening Skills

Great communicators remain totally present while actively listening to others when they speak. They are not distracted by their surroundings or their own thoughts.

They remain totally focused on the speaker and what is being said to them.

The only way to insure your listener knows they are being heard is to actively listen to them.

Reframing is one of the most powerful techniques that are essential to active listening. Simply, you re-frame what someone has just said to you to insure you heard them correctly. For example you might say: “You’re basically saying the team is having a difficult time implementing this strategy, correct?”

6. Every Single Person in the Room Believes You are Talking Directly to Them!

When speaking to a large audience, great communicators develop a level of intimacy with the audience that makes every single person in the room feel as if they are the only person in the room.

This is no easy feat. It requires the ability to be genuine and express the same feelings and energy you would emit when speaking to an individual, as opposed to getting consumed by the anxiety of a large crowd.

If you’ve ever been in a large audience and yet you felt the speaker was talking directly to you – you know how emotional this experience can be – and how lasting that connection becomes!

7. Connect with Feelings not Facts. All great communicators know that you emotionally connect with your audience.

As Maya Angelou said: “People will forget what you said and did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

Enough said!

Every great communicator connects with their audience. Utilizing the above strategies will increase your ability to connect with the people in your professional and personal world.

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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Wouldn’t it boost your career if you could learn to effectively communicate? Watch my video blog where I share 3 simple tips on how to become a more effective communicator.



#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

Remember the rising star in your company whom everyone “just knew” was going to rocket to stardom?

Yet his career never seemed to take off.

It’s not that he wasn’t smart. He was.

It’s not that he didn’t work hard. He did.

It’s not that he wasn’t well liked. He was.

Yet, in the wake of a stellar lift off, his career seemed to stall after being launched.

What exactly happened?

This rising star allowed his success to reach its expiration date!

Yes, everyone’s (current) success has an expiration date attached to it.

In the book written by Spencer Johnson titled: “Who Moved My Cheese?” Johnson discusses how to successfully deal with the inevitable changes we face in both our personal and professional lives.

And if one thing in life is certain, besides death and taxes, it’s change.

The rising star whose success expired failed to successfully navigate professional change.

He failed to remain relevant.

What was cutting edge technology today may well be irrelevant tomorrow.

What was known to be a “sure thing” today, is factually proven wrong tomorrow.

Forecasted trends prove worthless in a global economy whose rapid pace of change is staggering.

Following are some valuable ways to help you stay relevant – so your success does not reach its expiration date:

1. Adapt to the changing landscape. The only thing constant is change. Rather than waste your time and energy fighting change, learn to adapt to it. Otherwise, you and your skill-set will become obsolete.

2. Be Flexible. The Japanese observe how, during a heavy snowfall, the resilient bamboo bends but the unyielding oak breaks. As the winds of change blow in your company and your field, rather than strongly resisting it – be flexible and embrace it.

3. Be Pro-active. Seek out the upcoming trends and educate yourself about them. Staying ahead of the curve will keep you relevant.

4. Observe and Listen. Observe the trends and listen to its experts. Then perform your own due diligence.

5. Read. Reading is arguably the best way to stay on top of your game. Reading will let you know what is “in” and “out” in your industry, and where things may be headed. Reading will keep you informed and ahead of the curve.

The information, knowledge and expertise that made you successful today, may be totally irrelevant for tomorrow’s success. It is your responsibility to stay relevant so your success does not reach an expiration date.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox
www.linkedin.com/in/drpattyanntublin
 

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Wouldn’t it be a tremendous advantage if you could increase your emotional intelligence (E.I.) at work & in your personal relationships? Watch this brief video where I share 3 habits that highly emotionally intelligent people consistently display.


#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann
www.relationshiptoolbox.com
www.relationshiptoolbox.com/blog
www.twitter.com/drpattyann
www.facebook.com/relationshiptoolbox

 

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