Archive for Communication

Remember the guy from last year’s office holiday party that was spilling his drink on everyone around him? Or the woman who came slinking into the party dressed with very little left to the imagination?

Of course you do! And so does everyone else!

We’ve all heard and/or seen people commit career suicide due to their inappropriate behavior (and dress) at the office holiday party.

Following are my 5 tips to insure you not only survive – but also thrive – at your office holiday party this year.

5 Survival Tips

  1. GO! Don’t even think about blowing this party off!

    Love ‘em or hate ‘em, it will serve you well to be seen at ‘em.

    Really – people will know if you’re not there. Sure, the invitation might say “optional” but you don’t believe everything you read now, do you?

    Like it or not, office holiday parties are in many ways business events masquerading as parties. You don’t want your absence to be mis-interpreted as being aloof, a snob and/or not a team player.

    (Also, don’t go too early or stay too late!)

  2. Network and make yourself visible! It’s not good enough to just show up. Since you’re already there – you might as well make the most of it.

    Take this as an opportunity to socialize with people you normally don’t get a chance to interact with outside office hours.  You might be surprised how much you enjoy your colleagues outside the constraints of the workday.

    This is also a tremendous opportunity to network with the movers and shakers of your company (i.e., upper management and executives) whom you would normally not have access to.

    If you’ve never met them before, make it your business to introduce yourself with a brief introduction and non-work related conversation. But whatever you do, do not self-promote or act like a nudge.

  3. Dress for Success (i.e. appropriately). The office holiday party is not the time to come slinking in with stiletto heels and a low cut blouse – or a stained shirt and tie.

    Yes, you are at a party, but it is not the same dress code as it would be if you were at a party with your friends.

    If you’re not sure what to wear, the general rule of thumb is the venue determines the dress code. If you are still in doubt (or clueless), ask someone in your office whom you believe will know.

    Every office has that someone who seems to know this stuff!

  4. Moderation – of ALL things!

    Don’t drink too much, don’t eat too much and don’t talk too much.

    I’m not trying to be a Negative Nancy but it really is important to remember how you behave at this party may potentially influence how others think about you – and by association, your career trajectory!

    You don’t want to be walking around with red meatball sauce dripping down your chin.

    And there is nothing funny about being drunk – period.

    Avoid speaking too much about anything – especially yourself! Nobody wants to hear about how brilliant your kids are – or their athletic prowess – ad nauseam! They really don’t!

    Taboo Conversations

    Absolutely no offensive jokes or inappropriate comments – including gossip. Don’t say anything to anyone that you would never dream of saying in a professional environment.

    Do not engage in any gossip – at all! (Especially in the bathroom – ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about!)

    Avoid all conversational landmines, i.e., politics, religion, and any topic that pushes someone’s emotional “hot” buttons. Now is not the time to solve the immigration issue or the world hunger crisis.

    Note:  Minimize talking about your work.  This may be difficult to do because the one thing everyone in attendance shares is work, but I am sure you can find other similarities.

    If someone does ask you about your job, keep your response short and sweet. Remember- less is more. Don’t bore others with the detailed nuances of your work or achievements.  Nobody really cares.

    DO be Authentic   

    Be complimentary while being genuine. There must be at least one kind word you can say to everybody!

  5. Absolutely No Inappropriate Romantic Interactions – of any kind. Full Stop!

Final Thoughts

The office holiday party is a great opportunity to enjoy and hang out with people whom you spend most of your waking hours with. Whether you love or hate these parties, it’s a smart career move to go to them and make the most of them.

All success begins with relationships. Use the office holiday party as a way to develop deeper genuine relationships with your colleagues.

Besides having fun, you might be surprised as to how much it gives your career a boost!

Enjoy yourself while being responsible.  As I tell my kids, there are no do-overs!

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Navigating life's transitions We all experience a series of transitions throughout our lives, both personally and professionally. Even when transitions are positive, they can be quite stressful.

Graduating from college, getting married (or divorced), having a baby, beginning a new job, entering a new relationship, etc. all create stress.

Since transitions and change are a constant part of life, they are impossible to avoid.

Therefore, the better equipped you are to handle and navigate life’s transitions, the happier and more successful you’ll be!

Following are four easy ways to navigate life’s transitions (so they don’t overwhelm you and stress you out).

1. The famous Greek philosopher Socrates said: “Know Thyself”. Different people can tolerate different levels of stress.

Understand your own limitations. Know how much stress you can tolerate – and respect it. This will help you avoid (or minimize) feeling overwhelmed and unduly stressed out during times of change. Naturally, it will be helpful for you to control what you can realistically control.

We cannot control everything that happens to us in life- but we are able to control some things.

If you are uncomfortable with a lot of major changes happening all at once, do your best to keep these changes to a minimum (when possible).

For example, if you are moving to a new apartment, perhaps you shouldn’t be looking for a new job at the same time.

If you are one of the fortunate few who can emotionally tolerate a lot of changes going on at once – you still need to recognize that transitions are stressful. Don’t be caught off guard and pile on the changes unnecessarily – just because you think you “can”.

2. Reach Out to Your Support System. Whether you are transitioning into a new job, a new intimate relationship or moving to a new city, etc., access your support system.

Reach out to the people who can emotionally support you during times of change. We all know who these people are in our lives.

It is very difficult to handle transitions by yourself – so don’t!

If you begin to feel overwhelmed by a personal or professional change, seek emotional support from others.

Whether it’s your friends and/or family that comes through for you in the clutch, reach out to them. Let them know what change(s) you are going through so they can ease the bumpy emotional roller coaster ride that comes with the territory.

This support can go a long way in helping you move ahead to see light at the end of what might begin to feel like a very long dark tunnel.

3. Be Realistic. Give yourself a realistic timeframe to get used to the change.

Your identity is changing – and it will take time to adjust to the “new” you. So give yourself the time it takes to feel comfortable in your new skin.

It might take a full year to feel comfortable or confident in your new job or relationship. Expecting to adjust sooner than is realistically possible will only add more stress to an already stressful situation.

Therefore, give yourself the gift of knowing it takes time to adjust and feel comfortable when transitioning throughout your life.

4. Expect to feel uncomfortable feelings. Even if you finally got that promotion you so desperately wanted, or you are a blushing bride or groom, don’t be surprised if you begin to feel somewhat overwhelmed and/or sad.

Transitioning implies closing one chapter in your life and opening another.

Even if the change you are experiencing is desirable, it may still take you out of your comfort zone – creating many unexpected and uncomfortable feelings.

Transitions, whether they are warmly welcomed or are suddenly imposed upon us, they present us with new challenges that create stress.

Knowing how much stress you can tolerate, reaching out to your support system, giving yourself a realistic timeframe to adjust to the changes while understanding that you might feel some sadness, are keys that will help you navigate life’s transitions as smoothly as possible.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


What do you do when you get two (2) job offers – with the same salary? Watch Dr. Patty Ann’s answer below.

#businessexpert #relationshipexpert #communicationexpert

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


great-communicators-smlDon’t you just love this quote from the comedian George Bernard Shaw: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

Ineffective communication is often at the root of failed leadership, disengaged employees, poor customer service and failed marriages.

The inability to connect with others is a symptom of ineffective communication.

John C. Maxwell, an internationally renowned leadership expert wrote a best selling book titled: “Everyone communicates, Few Connect”.

How true that statement is!

“Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” John C Maxwell

The ability to connect is what all great communicators nail down.

And they connect with people on an emotional level.

It is impossible to become a great leader, a great spouse, a great parent and a great friend if you cannot connect with others.

You can’t influence someone if you can’t build a connection with them.

Following are 7 effective strategies that great communicators use to connect with people.

Master these skills and watch your connection and influence with others soar!

1. It’s Not About ME – it’s about YOU (the person or the audience).

Great communicators do not try to impress their audience with their credentials, what they know and how smart they are.

They relate to the audience based upon where the audience is – so they feel understood.

This is true whether it is an audience of one or one million people.

2. Authentic. Great communicators stay true to themselves.

People can smell a phony a mile away! That is why great communicators don’t try to be anyone they are not.

People are drawn to others who radiate authenticity and honesty.

When people are drawn to you – chances are they will be drawn to your message as well.

Authenticity is the glue that binds the connection.

3. Read Body Language Like a Book. Research shows well over 50% of all communication is non-verbal. Therefore, the greatest source of truthful information is revealed in people’s body language.

Body language is constant. Unlike verbal communication, non-verbal communication never stops. It’s always sending signals about how someone thinks and feels.

Great communicators are experts when it comes to reading body language. They can read facial expressions and other non-verbal gestures that reveal how someone really feels and what they really think (which may be at odds with what they say).

Every great communicator knows it is just as important to know what is not being said, as much as it is to know what is being said.

4. Communicate with Authority without being Arrogant. Great communicators speak clearly and directly about how they feel and what they believe.

They do not leave you guessing as to what their message is because they tell it like it is.

Although great communicators are direct, they are not rude or offensive.

5. Active Listening Skills

Great communicators remain totally present while actively listening to others when they speak. They are not distracted by their surroundings or their own thoughts.

They remain totally focused on the speaker and what is being said to them.

The only way to insure your listener knows they are being heard is to actively listen to them.

Reframing is one of the most powerful techniques that are essential to active listening. Simply, you re-frame what someone has just said to you to insure you heard them correctly. For example you might say: “You’re basically saying the team is having a difficult time implementing this strategy, correct?”

6. Every Single Person in the Room Believes You are Talking Directly to Them!

When speaking to a large audience, great communicators develop a level of intimacy with the audience that makes every single person in the room feel as if they are the only person in the room.

This is no easy feat. It requires the ability to be genuine and express the same feelings and energy you would emit when speaking to an individual, as opposed to getting consumed by the anxiety of a large crowd.

If you’ve ever been in a large audience and yet you felt the speaker was talking directly to you – you know how emotional this experience can be – and how lasting that connection becomes!

7. Connect with Feelings not Facts. All great communicators know that you emotionally connect with your audience.

As Maya Angelou said: “People will forget what you said and did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

Enough said!

Every great communicator connects with their audience. Utilizing the above strategies will increase your ability to connect with the people in your professional and personal world.

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


During Dr. Patty Ann’s Tuesday Tips for Success this week, she answered a viewer’s question on what to do when colleagues take credit for your business ideas.

#businessexpert #relationshipexpert #communicationexpert

If Networking petrifies you, watch my @WTNH TV segment: Dr. Patty Ann’s Tuesday Tips for Success, on how to ease anxiety and network like a pro – even if you are an introvert! #businessexpert #communicationexpert #relationshipexpert

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


That Special Something You Must Have for Success!Wouldn’t you love to be that guy or gal that everyone wants to be around?

The person who commands a “presence” when they walk into a room.

The person who exhibits magnetism that makes others naturally gravitate towards them.

Everyone wants to be on his or her team.

Everyone wants to work with them – or for them.

Question: So what exactly is “it” that these people possess?

Answer: Executive Presence

What is Executive Presence?

Sylvia Ann Hewlett states that Executive Presence is seen in the way you act, look and sound.

People with executive presence exhibit confidence, competence, poise, effective communication skills and the ability to remain calm in the eye of the storm – all fundamental characteristics of executive presence.

If you don’t look, act and sound like an executive or leader, it will be extremely difficult to be perceived as one or to become one.

Here’s the really good news. Executive Presence can be learned.

3 Key Ingredients Essential to Executive Presence

1. Gravitas – how you act or behave is perhaps the single most important component of Executive Presence.

If you want to be an executive/leader, you must act like one by exhibiting authenticity, competence, confidence, trustworthiness, poise and an ability to remain calm in the eye of the storm.

People with executive presence treat everyone with respect and dignity, regardless of their position within the company.

Their behavior towards others displays a genuine interest in who they are as a person first – and what they do as a professional second.

Want to increase your gravitas?

Increase your self-awareness.

The more you understand yourself, and what makes you tick, the more executive presence you will display. Increased self-awareness will directly impact the way you behave and act towards others.

2. Effective Communication Skills

The ability to communicate effectively is an essential component of executive presence.

Exemplary verbal & non-verbal communication skills are consistently demonstrated – along with the ability to actively listen to others.

Active Listening allows you to hear what is not being said – and ascertain the question that is not being asked.

These are invaluable skills for any leader (and parent for that matter).

Effective communication allows you to connect with others. And isn’t that the goal of all forms of communication?

Want to improve your Communication Skills?

Executive coaching, self-help books, attending workshops and seminars and asking for open honest feedback about your communication skills from colleagues and friends will all improve your ability to effectively communicate.

3. Award Winning Appearance – how you look.

Make no mistake about it, people make a snap judgment about who you are and what your level of competency is based upon your appearance.

Amy Cuddy, in her best-selling book: “Presence“ discusses that people size us up and make an initial impression about us within seconds of meeting us.

Therefore, it’s obvious that your appearance plays a huge role in how you are perceived.

Want Your Look Like You Got "IT"?

Dress appropriately.

Wear clothes that are not too loose or restrictive and appropriate for your company’s corporate culture.

Practice good personal hygiene including healthy teeth.

Extend a firm handshake, make appropriate eye contact, exhibit positive body language and utilize good posture.

These aspects of our appearance speak volumes about who we are and how we feel about ourselves – and will influence what others think of us. (Like it or not – this is a fact)!

Executive presence is an important tool for your success.

You can readily increase your executive presence by demonstrating the above 3 key characteristics – so you, too, can have “IT!”

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Dr. Patty Ann Tublin’s Tuesday Tips for Success in Business and Life, as seen on WTNH Ch. 8.


Do you want to be a Network Ninja? Then you want to learn how to network the way people with high Emotional Intelligence network – and check out today’s video blog!

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork #emotionalintelligence

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Wouldn’t you agree that great leadership begins with a growth mindset?
Watch this brief video where I share the 3 qualities of a growth mindset that all leaders possess.

#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork

~ as published in The Huffington Post

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann