Archive for Emotional Intelligence

During this week’s Dr. Patty Ann’s Tuesday Tips for Success a viewer asked how to handle her concern that she will “dumped” on with extra work when several people retire from her department. Watch to hear my answer.

#businessexpert #relationshipexpert #communicationexpert #emotionalintelligence

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


staycalm3The ability to stay calm under pressure is often found in people with high levels of Emotional Intelligence. In the workplace, the ability to stay calm in the eye of the storm directly correlates with high performance.

TalentSmart research found that 90% of the best performing employees possess the ability to control and manage their emotions under pressure. Consequently, these people do not allow unbridled emotions and/or impulses to drive their decisions or actions.

People with high levels of Emotional Intelligence control their emotions, rather than allowing their emotions to control them.

Following are four simple ways to learn how to control your emotions so you can stay calm under pressure. The ability to manage your emotions will increase your emotional intelligence and overall performance, thereby increasing your success at work.

1. Get off Grid! Never ending work results in never ending stress. Working 24/7 seven days a week damages your body and brain. Everyone needs to give his or her brain and body a break.

You might think it’s cool you are always “on” but research shows your level of productivity diminishes once you hit the 50-hour work week.

CNBC published an article discussing the ineffectiveness of overworking in an article titled: “Memo to work martyrs: Long hours make you less productive.” Check it out here.

Technology often makes it appear to be a herculean task to disconnect from work.

My advice here is to quite simply – turn it off! This includes your computer, your cell phone, your iPad and any automatic electronic notifications that “alert” you to incoming work messages. Unless you are a brain surgeon or involved in national security (and if you are reading this blog my guess is you are not), most incoming messages you are receiving “off “ hours are not that urgent! Really, they are not, so don’t flatter yourself!

Finally, totally unplug for a specific timeframe every single day. If that is impossible due to the nature of your work – then unplug at least over the weekends and during vacations and holidays.

YOU must control technology, rather than having technology control you.

Going completely off the grid will do your body and brain a world of good. It will give you a chance to rest, refuel and reenergize – otherwise you will always be running on fumes.

AND – to the point of this blog, going off the grid will directly increase your ability to stay calm under pressure – allowing your decisions to be made thoughtfully – not impulsively.

2. Keep things in perspective. All stressors and pressures are not created equal. S**t happens. It happens to everyone. It happens every day to someone. This begs the question: “How are you going to handle these pressures?”

We can’t control everything that happens to us – no one can. However, we can all control how we respond to our circumstances.

The very best way to handle stress when the s**t hits the fan is to ask yourself the following question: “What is the absolute worst thing that can happen as a result of this circumstance?”

Chances are no one will lose life or limb. Sure, some very unpleasant things might happen. Earnings might plummet, jobs might be lost, but life and death are probably not hanging in the balance.

This realization will go a long way in helping you keep things in perspective. This, in turn, allows us to stay calm and avoid making impulsive decisions or knee-jerk reactions since we know the world is not coming to an end!

People with high levels of Emotional Intelligence keep things in perspective. They keep reactions in check. They don’t overact.

3. Remain Positive. Closely connected to keeping things in perspective is remaining positive. Since we know keeping things in perspective helps us understand the world is not coming to an end, it allows us to avoid a doom and gloom case scenario attached to the crisis.

This realization will allow you to remain positive when faced with a crisis.

The key to remaining positive is to have a positive mindset. A positive mindset is half the battle in finding the solution to a difficult situation. There is no real value to hand wringing and expressing doom and gloom to a situation that most people already know is challenging and difficult.

Staying positive not only helps you find a solution – it is also contagious.

A “Negative Ned” and “Negative Nancy” can bring everyone down – a “Positive Paul” and “Positive Pam” brings everyone up. They provide hope and belief that you can find a way out of what might appear to be, at the moment, a dark – but not endless tunnel.

The ability to remain positive during a crisis allows you to be the calm in the eye of the storm- a trait exhibited by those with high emotional intelligence.

4. Breathe. Breathe deeply! The best way to remember to breathe when under pressure is to practice breathing on a daily basis. This way, when you are faced with pressure you can more easily remember to breathe appropriately.

This might sound simple but it works.

Deep breathing allows you to get centered and focused during times of stress. It promotes oxygenation to the brain, allowing you to think clearly.

The next time you are stressed, remember to breathe. You might be surprised how much this will increase your ability to process the stress and stay calm.

The ability to stay calm under pressure is a characteristic commonly found in people with high levels of Emotional Intelligence. Utilize the techniques discussed in this blog and watch your emotional intelligence – and success soar.

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork #emotionalintelligence

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Do you want to be a Network Ninja? Then you want to learn how to network the way people with high Emotional Intelligence network – and check out today’s video blog!

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork #emotionalintelligence

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Your emotional intelligence is at the core of many, if not all critical “soft skills” that influence most of your interactions and behaviors on a daily basis. Research demonstrates people with a high EI earn approximately $25,000-$30,000 more annually than those with a lower degree of emotional intelligence; with this correlation between high EI and increased earnings permeating all professions – at every level – consistently in every country. This amazing statistic (and I will spare you the boredom of citing many others that verify this fact) provides an incredible incentive for increasing your emotional intelligence.

Following are 3 critical ways to increase your Emotional Intelligence.

  1. Increase Self-Awareness through any means possible. Self-awareness precludes self-improvement. High achievers are constantly seeking personal and professional growth. Those with a high emotional intelligence are lifelong learners, open to new ideas, opinions and experiences. Additionally, gaining knowledge and insight into one’s limitations are not viewed as shortcomings for people with a high EI, rather they are seen as opportunities for self-growth and reaching outside one’s comfort zone. Executive coaching, yoga, meditation, therapy, emotional intelligence workshops and seminars are all vehicles whereby one may increase their self-awareness, thereby increasing their EI.
  2. Acknowledge and Manage your Emotions. People with high emotional intelligence acknowledge and manage their emotions, as opposed to being reactive. The more volatile and emotionally charged a situation is, the more imperative it is to keeps one’s cool. During emotionally charged and high tense situations, people with high EI are able to process information in a timely manner and then respond in an appropriate way. They have the ability to diffuse anger by listening to and recognizing the feelings of others – even when they disagree with them. Listening to others promotes good will among workers, since research consistently demonstrates we all have a strong desire (and need) to be heard.
  3. Demonstrate an authentic and genuine interest in people. People with a high EI make it a point to learn the names and something personal about the people they interact with at work, i.e. spouse’s name, kids names and ages, hobbies, interests outside of work etc. This effort fosters a positive feeling among colleagues because it shows that you care about them as a person, not just a colleague. This connection is invaluable when you need a professional favor or help with a project that requires people to go above and beyond the call of duty. Since you have gone out of your way to sincerely get to know your colleagues, and connect with them on a human level, most people will be more than happy to go out of their way to help you.

In the final analysis, all business is about people, and is run by people. Increasing your Emotional Intelligence will help you connect with the heart of your business.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Emotional Intelligence consists of the ability to recognize, use, understand and manage our emotions in a way that helps develop healthy relationships in both our professional and personal lives. Succinctly, Emotional Intelligence influences the way we react to stress and the way we interact with others.

Emotional intelligence is composed of four main attributes:

  1. Self-awareness – the ability to recognize one’s own emotions and how they influence one’s behaviors and thoughts.
  2. Self-management – the ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors so that you can manage your emotions in an effective and healthy manner.
  3. Social awareness – the ability to understand the emotions, needs and concerns of others.
  4. Relationship management – the ability to develop and sustain healthy relationships.

Following are 3 key ways to increase your emotional intelligence:

  1. Know what your stressors are and then learn ways to reduce them; perhaps by practicing yoga, meditation, reading self-help literature.
  2. Know Thyself – increased self-awareness is at the core of understanding others. Knowing yourself increases your chances of knowing and understanding your emotions – especially when stressed. Understanding your emotions increases your chances of controlling them – rather than having your emotions control you.
  3. Develop effective communication skills. The ability to communicate effectively is at the heart of developing and maintaining healthy relationships, both in our personal and professional lives. Without these skills, it is almost impossible to relate to others.

Increasing one’s Emotional Intelligence is a lifelong process. Being able to develop healthy relationships is necessary for success in business and life.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Many business leaders and workers falsely believe that acting “professional” at work means shutting off all your emotions and remaining completely analytical and unemotional, at all times. Try as we may to do this, it is an impossible task. When we think we are shutting off our emotions – what we are really doing is ignoring and/or denying them, refusing to believe they are factoring into any business decision we are making, after all, that wouldn’t be “professional.” In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Denying the fact that we make business decisions based not only upon cognitive information but upon how we feel about this information as well will lead to less than ideal decisions.

What we feel plays a major role in how we work and what we think – whether we want to believe it or not! Feelings and emotions powerfully influence our decision-making process, behavior, ability to manage to stress and the overall quality of our relationships, personal and professional. How we think about a situation also directly impacts our perception of it, i.e., whether we perceive a situation as good or bad, to our advantage or disadvantage, etc. It is the interpretation of a situation that decides its meaning for us, and hence our response to it.

Responding in an emotionally intelligent way to any given situation requires some self-awareness. Recognizing how we feel about our self influences how we perceive a specific situation.

Limiting or failing to acknowledge our feelings within any context, personal or professional, limits our ability to feel empathy and stifles our adaptability to change, often leading to a mismanagement of these feelings – often creating a failure of leadership. High Emotional Intelligence prevents this from occurring because it allows us to create an environment where we are not afraid to connect to others with true passion and authenticity – and your colleagues and subordinates will feel this from you. Workers and others who feel you truly care about them and their feelings will create loyalty in all your relationships, with people voluntarily going the extra mile to get the job done.
In today’s global economy, emotional intelligence is critical for your success because it will allow you to connect, in an authentic manner with your employees, your clients and your customers.
The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann

Before this relationship skill was identified, it was believed that success was predicated upon one’s I.Q. (Intelligence Quotient). Conventional wisdom suggested that the higher the I.Q. the greater the chance for success. We now know that one’s I.Q. is merely one variable necessary for success – and perhaps not the most important one. Emotional Intelligence (E.I.) is now identified as a necessary type of intelligence, and a leading prerequisite for success in both business and interpersonal relationships.

Emotional Intelligence (E.I.) helps us understand how really smart people sabotage their success in the business and academic world and why people with low emotional intelligence, in spite of a high I.Q., cannot get out of their way. Therefore, let’s take a look at what emotional intelligence is and why it is so tantamount to one’s success.

From an operational perspective, Emotional Intelligence (E.I.) can quite simply be defined as the ability to build healthy relationships in real time. As Stephen Covey, the best selling author of: “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” stated: “all success begins with relationships.” People with high emotional intelligence have this ability to form healthy relationships as Covey suggests.

We all know networking is critical to our business success. People who have a high E.I. will be very skilled at networking – providing them with the invaluable advantage of creating what I will refer to as a “golden rolodex”, i.e., a list of powerful names that will help them get the job done, names they can access when a dooming deadline is approaching, and people who will promote them both within and outside their companies. Therefore, E.I. allows us to climb up the corporate ladder. Our “golden rolodex” forms the relationships that will be at the core of one’s success in business and its power is far greater than one can quantify.

As “good enough” isn’t “good enough” anymore – a global world demands the ability to create healthy relationships in real time. Emotional intelligence is now recognized as the quintessential relationship skill needed for success in business and life.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


We all know really smart business women (and men) who, regardless of how brilliant they appear to be, are not successful. These smart people just cannot seem to get out of their own way!  So clearly, if all it takes is a high I.Q. to be successful in business, something else is going on here.  Business success requires much more than just intellectual intelligence.  In fact, according to Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence” (E.I.), your I.Q. is responsible for only 25% of your success in business and life.  The other skill you need for success, and it is present 75% of the time, is what Daniel Goleman has identified as one’s Emotional Intelligence. So what exactly is Emotional Intelligence?

Succinctly, Emotional Intelligence (E.I.) is the ability to relate to others – to make a significant and meaningful connection with people.  Emotional Intelligence is at the very core of my work as a relationship expert because emotional intelligence is the ability to create relationships. The ability to relate to others is at the very heart of success.  Think about this for a moment.  Don’t we all prefer to hire a person whom we like? Don’t we all prefer to work with someone we like?  And don’t we like to surround ourselves with people that other people like, both professionally and personally? Any successful salesperson lives by the “know, like and trust” motto.  In other words, any successful salesperson will have a very high Emotional Intelligence (E.I.). These successful sales people seem to be able to create relationships with others who will choose to buy from them, other than their competitors because, if the truth be told, the buyer just plain likes them better.

Here is the really fabulous news about Emotional Intelligence. Unlike our Intelligence Quotient (I.Q.), which is a relatively fixed number throughout our lifetime, our Emotional Intelligence (E.I.) is a number which can change exponentially over time.  In other words, we can learn very specific relationship skills that will dramatically increase our Emotional Intelligence.  The ability to increase our emotional intelligence is as critical to our business success, as is the ability to evolve and learn new and very specific business skills throughout the course of our careers.

So the next time you find yourself struggling in business, and you truly believe you have the business acumen to succeed, re-direct your energies and take a long, hard look at your Emotional Intelligence and see what relationship skills you may be lacking.  In the final analysis, it is the ability to create, nurture and sustain relationships that is at the heart of success in business and life.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Just as a good marriage requires more than love to make it work, a successful business requires more than just a good product or service or even a good business plan. As a female entrepreneur or small business owner, your business, similar to all your relationships must have an abundance of Emotional Intelligence or EI to succeed.

Daniel Goleman coined the phrase “Emotional Intelligence” and defines it as “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and our relationships.”

Although we now know that our Emotional Intelligence demonstrates how our relationships and our ability to relate to others in a healthy way impacts the bottom line of our business as well as influence the happiness in our marriage and other interpersonal relationships; this was a novel idea not that long ago. Current research shows the use of emotional intelligence in business radically influences return on sales, revenue growth and overall profitability, all in a drastically positive way.

3 Simple Ways to use Emotional Intelligence to Boost Your Business:

  1. Be organized, focused and thoroughly prepared when interacting with clients on any level, i.e. at meetings, on the phone, during presentations, etc. This will make your client feel that you respect, value and appreciate their business.
  2. Be emphatic. Listen to your clients needs and remember it is what they need that matters most to them, not what you think they need. If you take your clients needs and feelings into consideration when offering them solutions to their business problems, they will feel heard and understood, and are more likely to become a repeat client or customer.
  3. Communicate and demonstrate warmth through your attitude, tone of voice, words and actions, showing your client you care about them as a human being, not just as a client. Show genuine interest in their life by sincerely asking them about the important people in their lives, i.e. their spouse, children, etc.

These are 3 simple, yet highly effective ways to use emotional intelligence to increase your profits and enhance your relationships. Stay tuned for more invaluable information on Emotional Intelligence (EI) in future newsletters!

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann