Archive for Relationship Skills

During this week’s “Dr. Patty Ann’s Tuesday Tips for Success” a viewer asked about how to secure their job when they get a new boss -who was an outside hire. Watch my answer below.


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The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


During this week’s Dr. Patty Ann’s Tuesday Tips for Success, she was asked how to handle stress during the stressful holiday season. Watch her reply below. These tips apply to both your professional and personal life.

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Remember the guy from last year’s office holiday party that was spilling his drink on everyone around him? Or the woman who came slinking into the party dressed with very little left to the imagination?

Of course you do! And so does everyone else!

We’ve all heard and/or seen people commit career suicide due to their inappropriate behavior (and dress) at the office holiday party.

Following are my 5 tips to insure you not only survive – but also thrive – at your office holiday party this year.

5 Survival Tips

  1. GO! Don’t even think about blowing this party off!

    Love ‘em or hate ‘em, it will serve you well to be seen at ‘em.

    Really – people will know if you’re not there. Sure, the invitation might say “optional” but you don’t believe everything you read now, do you?

    Like it or not, office holiday parties are in many ways business events masquerading as parties. You don’t want your absence to be mis-interpreted as being aloof, a snob and/or not a team player.

    (Also, don’t go too early or stay too late!)

  2. Network and make yourself visible! It’s not good enough to just show up. Since you’re already there – you might as well make the most of it.

    Take this as an opportunity to socialize with people you normally don’t get a chance to interact with outside office hours.  You might be surprised how much you enjoy your colleagues outside the constraints of the workday.

    This is also a tremendous opportunity to network with the movers and shakers of your company (i.e., upper management and executives) whom you would normally not have access to.

    If you’ve never met them before, make it your business to introduce yourself with a brief introduction and non-work related conversation. But whatever you do, do not self-promote or act like a nudge.

  3. Dress for Success (i.e. appropriately). The office holiday party is not the time to come slinking in with stiletto heels and a low cut blouse – or a stained shirt and tie.

    Yes, you are at a party, but it is not the same dress code as it would be if you were at a party with your friends.

    If you’re not sure what to wear, the general rule of thumb is the venue determines the dress code. If you are still in doubt (or clueless), ask someone in your office whom you believe will know.

    Every office has that someone who seems to know this stuff!

  4. Moderation – of ALL things!

    Don’t drink too much, don’t eat too much and don’t talk too much.

    I’m not trying to be a Negative Nancy but it really is important to remember how you behave at this party may potentially influence how others think about you – and by association, your career trajectory!

    You don’t want to be walking around with red meatball sauce dripping down your chin.

    And there is nothing funny about being drunk – period.

    Avoid speaking too much about anything – especially yourself! Nobody wants to hear about how brilliant your kids are – or their athletic prowess – ad nauseam! They really don’t!

    Taboo Conversations

    Absolutely no offensive jokes or inappropriate comments – including gossip. Don’t say anything to anyone that you would never dream of saying in a professional environment.

    Do not engage in any gossip – at all! (Especially in the bathroom – ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about!)

    Avoid all conversational landmines, i.e., politics, religion, and any topic that pushes someone’s emotional “hot” buttons. Now is not the time to solve the immigration issue or the world hunger crisis.

    Note:  Minimize talking about your work.  This may be difficult to do because the one thing everyone in attendance shares is work, but I am sure you can find other similarities.

    If someone does ask you about your job, keep your response short and sweet. Remember- less is more. Don’t bore others with the detailed nuances of your work or achievements.  Nobody really cares.

    DO be Authentic   

    Be complimentary while being genuine. There must be at least one kind word you can say to everybody!

  5. Absolutely No Inappropriate Romantic Interactions – of any kind. Full Stop!

Final Thoughts

The office holiday party is a great opportunity to enjoy and hang out with people whom you spend most of your waking hours with. Whether you love or hate these parties, it’s a smart career move to go to them and make the most of them.

All success begins with relationships. Use the office holiday party as a way to develop deeper genuine relationships with your colleagues.

Besides having fun, you might be surprised as to how much it gives your career a boost!

Enjoy yourself while being responsible.  As I tell my kids, there are no do-overs!

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Navigating life's transitions We all experience a series of transitions throughout our lives, both personally and professionally. Even when transitions are positive, they can be quite stressful.

Graduating from college, getting married (or divorced), having a baby, beginning a new job, entering a new relationship, etc. all create stress.

Since transitions and change are a constant part of life, they are impossible to avoid.

Therefore, the better equipped you are to handle and navigate life’s transitions, the happier and more successful you’ll be!

Following are four easy ways to navigate life’s transitions (so they don’t overwhelm you and stress you out).

1. The famous Greek philosopher Socrates said: “Know Thyself”. Different people can tolerate different levels of stress.

Understand your own limitations. Know how much stress you can tolerate – and respect it. This will help you avoid (or minimize) feeling overwhelmed and unduly stressed out during times of change. Naturally, it will be helpful for you to control what you can realistically control.

We cannot control everything that happens to us in life- but we are able to control some things.

If you are uncomfortable with a lot of major changes happening all at once, do your best to keep these changes to a minimum (when possible).

For example, if you are moving to a new apartment, perhaps you shouldn’t be looking for a new job at the same time.

If you are one of the fortunate few who can emotionally tolerate a lot of changes going on at once – you still need to recognize that transitions are stressful. Don’t be caught off guard and pile on the changes unnecessarily – just because you think you “can”.

2. Reach Out to Your Support System. Whether you are transitioning into a new job, a new intimate relationship or moving to a new city, etc., access your support system.

Reach out to the people who can emotionally support you during times of change. We all know who these people are in our lives.

It is very difficult to handle transitions by yourself – so don’t!

If you begin to feel overwhelmed by a personal or professional change, seek emotional support from others.

Whether it’s your friends and/or family that comes through for you in the clutch, reach out to them. Let them know what change(s) you are going through so they can ease the bumpy emotional roller coaster ride that comes with the territory.

This support can go a long way in helping you move ahead to see light at the end of what might begin to feel like a very long dark tunnel.

3. Be Realistic. Give yourself a realistic timeframe to get used to the change.

Your identity is changing – and it will take time to adjust to the “new” you. So give yourself the time it takes to feel comfortable in your new skin.

It might take a full year to feel comfortable or confident in your new job or relationship. Expecting to adjust sooner than is realistically possible will only add more stress to an already stressful situation.

Therefore, give yourself the gift of knowing it takes time to adjust and feel comfortable when transitioning throughout your life.

4. Expect to feel uncomfortable feelings. Even if you finally got that promotion you so desperately wanted, or you are a blushing bride or groom, don’t be surprised if you begin to feel somewhat overwhelmed and/or sad.

Transitioning implies closing one chapter in your life and opening another.

Even if the change you are experiencing is desirable, it may still take you out of your comfort zone – creating many unexpected and uncomfortable feelings.

Transitions, whether they are warmly welcomed or are suddenly imposed upon us, they present us with new challenges that create stress.

Knowing how much stress you can tolerate, reaching out to your support system, giving yourself a realistic timeframe to adjust to the changes while understanding that you might feel some sadness, are keys that will help you navigate life’s transitions as smoothly as possible.

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


If Networking petrifies you, watch my @WTNH TV segment: Dr. Patty Ann’s Tuesday Tips for Success, on how to ease anxiety and network like a pro – even if you are an introvert! #businessexpert #communicationexpert #relationshipexpert

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Dr. Patty Ann Tublin’s Tuesday Tips for Success in Business and Life, as seen on WTNH Ch. 8.


Do you want to be a Network Ninja? Then you want to learn how to network the way people with high Emotional Intelligence network – and check out today’s video blog!

#womenandmoney #womenatwork #womenandwork #emotionalintelligence

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann


Wouldn’t it be a tremendous advantage if you could increase your emotional intelligence (E.I.) at work & in your personal relationships? Watch this brief video where I share 3 habits that highly emotionally intelligent people consistently display.

#womenandmoney #womenandwork #womenatwork

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann



Be Thankful

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Happy Thanksgiving

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
Be thankful when you don’t know something
For it gives you the opportunity to learn.
Be thankful for the difficult times.
During those times you grow.
Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement.
Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
Be thankful for your mistakes
They will teach you valuable lessons.
Be thankful when you’re tired and weary
Because it means you’ve made a difference.
It is easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are
also thankful for the setbacks.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive.
Find a way to be thankful for your troubles
and they can become your blessings.

Author Unknown

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann



Have you ever wondered where all your money goes? Do you control your money? Or does your money control you?

As the U.S. deadline for filing your tax return rapidly approaches (April 18), many of us suddenly realize we have no idea where our money goes. We haven’t a clue as to what we spent our money on.

No, this is not a blog about investing. This is a blog about valuing your hard-earned money so you can take control of how – and on what – you spend your money. This is a blog about giving your money a purpose that enriches your life!

Emotional Spending

Many people spend money to soothe emotions. They use money as an emotional elixir. Remember that time you were really pissed off at your partner – so you went shopping to blow off some steam? The next thing you know you bought a new pair of shoes and a pair of pants – neither of which you really needed.

Initially the purchases made you feel good; however this was a fleeting high.



The Place For Relationship Tools For Success In Business and Life,

Dr. Patty Ann